Shock and Awe
by Moon Prynces
Summary: Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance
1. Chapter 1

6-21-09

3:45am

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 1**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

Lily Evans looked up swiftly as she felt her friend's movement.

"Where are you going?" she questioned quickly.

"Oh, you know," Alice started off nonchalantly, "Just going to meet up with some of the other girls."

"Again?" the redhead asked incredulously.

Alice sighed. "Yes Lils, _again_."

"Bu-but what about studying!" she hissed again, desperate for the company of her favorite companion.

"Sweetie," Alice started off slowly as if explaining how to Stupefy someone to a first year. "We have no exams coming up or essays due soon. It's only the beginning of the term, Lily!" she admonished, trying to make her friend see the light. "Shouldn't you be relieved it's sixth year? We're done with O.W.L.S. already and N.E.W.T.S. aren't till the end of seventh year!"

"All the more time to study," the redhead said firmly.

Alice once again sighed and added an eye roll. "Alright, do what you want but I'm off to enjoy my youth and–"

"Hey, Prewett!" someone called clear across the common room.

The two girls looked up from the table just as Alice shoved the last of her belongings into her bag. She smiled at the two girls waiting for her by the portrait hole and announced she'd be just a minute before turning back to Lily.

"I would ask you along but you've denied my invitation so many times I stopped bothering. But if you're willing to let go of your books for an afternoon then I'm sure the rest of the–"

Alice was cut off from any further comment.

"No thanks, it's okay." Lily smiled pleasingly and turned back to her books, covering up the dismay she felt.

She did manage to glance up as Alice left with the blonde and brunette girls, both from their year.

"What could they possibly be doing? There's not much else to do around here but study," she grumbled to herself, feeling hopeless. "Maybe I should have joined them..." she trailed off thoughtfully, feeling lonely despite the thirty or so students in the common room with her.

Lately her best friend – more like only friend – had been hanging out with the other girls in their year and leaving Lily to fend for herself when James came around with idea after idea of where they should go on dates (even though Lily had yet to say yes). It would have been less troubling if the girls hung around in the common room or at one end of the table in the Great Hall so Lily could tell what the big deal was, but they were never within sight. In fact, the redhead had no idea where they usually hurried off to, doing who knows what.

Since her concentration was broken she managed to idly scribble a few more words before staring off.

"I can't wait for tomorrow though! You think Angela's ready?" the voice of a nearby girl said, waking Lily up.

Mary Macdonald giggled conspiratorially with another girl as they made their way to the portrait hole.

"What about Alice Prewett? She hasn't pledged loyalty yet either," the other girl stated.

Lily raised a brow as she listened to them as much as she could before they were out of sight. _Is there some kind of cult forming?_ she thought to herself. _No, they're just a bunch of girls playing pranks on each other._

Still, as she gathered her things and made her way up to the dorms, she was a little disturbed. What was so great about whatever they were doing anyway? And why was it always out of sight?

**xoxo**

James beamed as he reached the place where his friends sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

Sirius and Peter spared him a glance before going back to their meal, and Remus didn't even bother pulling his nose out of the book he was holding.

"Today is _the_ day!" James announced.

"Today is _Thurs_day," Sirius corrected, sharing a laugh with Peter as James shot them a fierce look before taking a seat.

Without looking at anyone Remus questioned, "What about today?"

"Today I'm going to get Lily to say yes!"

Three of the marauders sighed and shook their heads. The last one happily went on shoveling food into his mouth with high hopes for the day.

Not even ten minutes later James was daintily tapping at his mouth with a napkin as if he had any manners to begin with. Sirius stared at his best mate in disbelief. Peter kept his head down as he ate and Remus snuck a glance.

James stood up confidently from the table.

"Already?" Sirius groaned, smacking his forehead. "It's too early for another attempt!" he tried to reason.

Remus finally stowed away the book and sighed as well. "Do you even have a plan this time? What makes you so sure she'll say yes now?"

The boy only winked at his friends as he stepped out of his seat and began the trek to the other end of the table where Lily was currently situated with her best friend.

"So," Lily started off, staring down at her muffin on the plate.

Alice barely acknowledged this as she spread jam on a piece of toast. "Mm?"

"So," she started off again, looking up this time. "What'd you guys do yesterday?"

"Who?" Alice responded distractedly.

"You know," Lily said, trying to sound flippant about the whole thing, "With the girls."

To this Alice paused the bread just before entering her mouth and stared at her friend. "What?"

"Well, you know. You guys had fun and all that?" the redhead tried again. Though in truth, she grumbled, the words sounded like something her mother would ask.

Alice blinked a few times before she let out a breath filled with laughter. The irritation on Lily's face showed.

"If you want to know what it is we do so badly then you might as well join us!" she announced.

"But I don't–"

"I've got to go anyway, Lily-dear!" Alice said in a sing-song voice, getting up and forgetting all about her jam covered toast.

Lily watched in shock as Alice nodded to another girl down the table and they both made their way out of the Great Hall.

"Where-where does she think she's going! We have class in fifteen minutes!" she said to herself, a hand coming up to rest in her hair.

"Hello Lily-flower," a voice just behind her spoke up cheerfully.

Still in her astonished state, she hardly paid attention.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning back to her muffin sitting innocently on the plate.

_Why wouldn't she just tell me!_ Lily's thoughts spun. _We've never kept secrets from each other before! Maybe-maybe she's ditching me as her friend to be with the other girls!_

James smiled brightly, shooting his friends the look of triumph before taking the now empty seat next to Lily. She turned to stare right through him as her horrified thoughts continued.

_It's probably because I'm such a bookworm and I never go out and have fun like normal people and..._

"So you see...I've kind of been having trouble with the coursework we've got in Potions this term," he started off, putting a troubled look upon his face. Lily nodded in her own world.

_I should have gone with her to Hogsmeade last weekend. And even paid more attention to fashion trends these days. I'm not even a normal girl!_

"Well anyway," James shook his head as if he was getting off topic, which wasn't really the case since he'd barely spoken. "I was hoping maybe you could help me out with it...?" he said hopefully.

Lily zoned in just enough to catch this. "Are you asking me out again?" she questioned dryly.

"No, no! I mean, seriously, I am kind of failing so I just thought, you know–" he frantically scrambled. "You're top in our year in Potions and Slughorn loves you so maybe you could give me some pointers at least...?"

As the last of Lily's thoughts were her screaming at herself for being such a kiss-ass student she dazedly nodded her head.

"Great!" James jumped up from his seat, ready to get away quick before she happened to change her mind. "I'll meet you up later to study or something!" he rushed out over his shoulder as he skittered away happily.

Lily sighed to herself, putting her face in her palm. "I'm such a loser that even James Potter came over just to ask for a study session instead of his usual 'let's go on a date' scheme."

**xoxo**

"Oh my god!" Lily shrieked, letting the sound reverberate through the crowded hall. She stomped over to where her best friend stood talking to two other girls. "Excuse me," she said to them as she grabbed Alice's elbow and dragged her away. "What did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" Alice mumbled back, though she knew exactly what Lily was referring to as she fingered the ends of her now blonde hair.

"You're blonde!" Lily hissed as they were a good distance away from anyone. "You were gone for fifteen minutes, Prewett! What happened? Did _they_ make you do this? Was it peer pressure?"

Alice started laughing at her friend as they stopped walking. "It was just a dare that I _accepted_. It's only temporary," she explained. "Besides, I think I look pretty good." She struck a pose, causing a smile to creep up on Lily's face.

"Yeah, okay, you do look good." Then the smile turned wicked. "Maybe now Frank will take a greater notice of you," she announced, her voice getting louder towards the end.

Alice slapped a hand over her friend's mouth and glanced back just in time to see Frank Longbottom walk down the hall with some other boys, laughing. The blonde turned pink as she glared at Lily, who grinned.

She finally sighed and let go. "I think class is starting now." The two glanced at the classroom door where students were filing through.

As they started to head back down the way Lily had pulled her from, the redhead started speaking. "Hey, I was thinking... Maybe if you and the other girls don't mind... I mean, maybe I could join you all with your club or cult or whatever it is," she mumbled.

Alice's head of blonde hair whipped around as she turned to grin widely at her friend. "Great!" Her look turned sinister when Lily wasn't paying attention. "You won't regret it."

**xoxo**

"So..." he whispered out of the corner of his mouth, eyes glued to the blackboard.

Sirius looked at his friend strangely. "What?"

"Aren't you wondering how it went?" James questioned like it was obvious.

"What's going on?" Peter asked from behind Sirius.

"James is daydreaming again," Sirius stated, turning away and winking at a girl in the class.

The boy shot his friend a look, and then turned back to where Remus and Peter sat behind him and Sirius. He looked at the two expectantly.

Remus just raised a brow. "Well? Are you going to tell us or sit there rocking back and forth?"

"I'm guessing he wants us to _ask_ him," Sirius said, suddenly turning to the three.

"Because that's something that good friends are supposed to do: be interested," Peter continued.

Even though the speculated thoughts were true, none of them voiced the question and instead let the pressure in James' head build up.

"She said yes!" he finally burst out.

Three pairs of eyes popped out in disbelief.

"Yup," James went on proudly. "I'm gonna meet up with her later so we can sit down and start."

"Start?" Sirius asked uncertainly, no doubt conjuring dirty thoughts.

"Start what exactly?" Remus asked.

"Studying," he proclaimed.

**xoxo**

"So I was thinking since she's so out of the loop we could use this as an opportunity..." the blonde trailed off.

"But she doesn't deserve that!" another girl whined.

"Hey, he's the one who wants it! Who are we to argue with that kind of determination?" another voice said back.

**xoxo**

"Hey! So you ready?" a chipper voice awoke Lily from her slumber.

The redhead groaned and rolled over to check her watch. "Alice, why are you awake?" she muttered, unable to muster the enthusiasm her best friend had at the moment. "Oh my god! Is that the time?" she said, her voice suddenly louder.

Lily shot up in bed to glance around the dark dormitory. Alice grinned from her place on the bed where she bounced up and down.

"It's time to get up!"

"Alice Prewett, it's four in the freaking morning! It's not even bright out! There are no birds chirping! And you expect me to– Ahh!" Her rambling was cut short as the floor rushed up to meet her. Lily looked up at her friend and tugged away her arm angrily. "Thanks," she replied, picking herself up.

"It's time we meet the rest of the girls!" Alice said, her blonde hair discernible through the darkness.

"What? Why? Isn't it too late to..." Lily trailed off as she stood up, looking around at the empty beds. "Where is everyone?"

"They'll be meeting us there! They just wanted to get things set up!" Alice replied, ever-cheerful. She began walking around the bed, grabbing a sweater from a bureau and throwing it to her friend. "Stop glaring at me already. You're lucky it's a Saturday. When it's all over you can just sleep in tomorrow...er, today." She looked up thoughtfully before bending down and tossing a pair of slippers as well.

Lily barely caught any of these items, in fact ducking from one of the slippers. "Can I at least use the bathroom real quick before we go?" she sighed, pulling on the sweater.

"Well, okay. But don't think you can lock the door on me," she threatened, holding out her wand. "Technically I'm supposed to drag you down as soon as you're out of bed. You're lucky I'm such a good friend."

"Yeah, yeah," Lily shot over her shoulder as she made her way to the lavatory. "Definitely a cult," she mumbled to herself.

**xoxo**

"This better be good," the redhead hissed as she felt cold air hit her cheeks. "We could get into so much trouble for this." She turned her head to the side to try and speak to Alice.

The blonde only grinned as she held firmly onto her friend's shoulders from behind and steered the way. Lily looked around blindly.

"Do you have your wand out?" Lily whispered.

Alice sighed. "No Lils, whoever's on patrol tonight might see it! And stop asking questions already! Just go with it!"

The two listened to their footsteps echoing through the dark, empty corridor. Lily faced forward, trying to pick up on where they were headed because the blindfold afforded her no comfort.

"Alright," Alice whispered in her ear. There was the sound of a door opening, though it was obvious Alice was trying to be quiet about it. She then nudged Lily into the room where she heard the giggles of other girls.

Lily breathed in as the blindfold was undone and pulled away.

"The Charms classroom?" she breathed out in question, looking around the dim room. Only moonlight and a candle revealed the faces she knew.

"No time for questions Evans," Mary Macdonald said, coming forward to grab Lily's arm. The girl in question looked back helplessly at her best friend who only smiled as she shut the door and locked it.

Four girls sat around in a circle at the back of the room, leaning against the wall or furniture instead of using the chairs that Lily thought would be more practical.

"I was right. This is a cult, isn't it?" Lily asked accusingly. Some of the girls looked up in surprise at her words, before learning from the smile she had on that she was kidding.

"Take a seat." Mary shoved her down to sit in the circle and took the space next to her. "I'm sure you already know everyone in some way but I think introductions are a good idea," she smiled disarmingly.

Lily still had reservations on what cult-like activities might occur. She really hoped they weren't sacrificing an animal tonight. She didn't like blood.

Alice joined the circle, sitting across from her best friend.

"Mary Macdonald," the obvious leader of the troop announced proudly.

"Shh," another girl, a small blonde hissed. "Angela Grizzby," she said, letting out a smile.

The brunette next to her with wildly curly hair continued with a skeptical look, "Gina Foster."

The girl sitting next to her sat up straighter from her slouched position and Lily noted she must be tall. "Annie Jacobs,"she stated with a carefully blank expression.

A tanned girl with a bunch of ear piercings at the opposite end grinned happily like it wasn't four in the morning and they weren't breaking rules. "Jessica Henley." She stretched out her feet and leaned back on her hands, ruining the effect of the circle.

Lily just nodded as she studied each girl. Then there was silence as the girls looked bored. Lily cleared her throat and sat straighter.

"So...why am I here in the middle of the night?" she asked, trying not to sound like a kill-joy.

Some of them laughed at her but Mary just smiled wide.

"Well, we're letting you in on our secrets. We kind of have this little club thing going on and we're willing to have you join us," she said.

Lily frowned. "What's so great about it though? I mean why the Charms classroom? Why four a.m.?"

"Well that's–"

"Wait!" Petite Angela jerked forward as she said this. "We can't just let her in without some kind of initiation! Everyone had to go through it!" she motioned around at the group.

Lily's eyes went around, wondering what she was talking about, before landing on Alice and her blonde hair. Her eyes went wide at the realization.

"That's why you dyed your hair?" she asked in shock.

Alice shrugged. "It was fun," she argued at the look.

"I got sent to McGonagall's office to take one of her quills!" Angela said. "She was lucky!"

Gina and Jessica laughed, retelling how she'd flown away from the scene.

"Shut up," Angela grumbled with the hint of a smile.

"So," Mary went on, turning to Lily. "This is the time to decide. It's totally okay if you don't want to do anything or join our weird looking club. We'll still see each other in class, the common room, Great Hall and just about everywhere. We're not going to hate you or give you the cold shoulder. It's up to you if you think you can complete a task for us."

The words stopped the whispering and giggles that had been shared around the circle and all the girls look at the redhead expectantly. Lily took this time to really think about it.

She wasn't really close with any of these girls, save Alice. She wasn't all too sure about trusting them completely just yet. But then there wasn't a reason to _not_ trust them. In fact they weren't doing anything to try and harm her. They weren't doing anything but trying to get to know her better – even if it was sixth year already.

Lily looked around at their faces, looking anxious and excited. She finally landed on the tall girl, Annie, and their eyes caught each other for a moment. She looked painfully tired of this ordeal but Lily caught the slight upward twitch of her lips and the barely noticeable nod of her head.

"Okay," she finally decided, turning back to everyone with a bright smile.

"Good. I would have dragged you back upstairs and not let you sleep for the rest of the day if you said no," Alice grinned.

"Alright! Your mission, should you choose to accept it–" Mary started off.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm going to accept it!" Lily cried out defensively.

Mary just nodded sagely as if she already knew the outcome of this. "Your objective..." She paused for dramatic effect, looking around at the group of girls assembled. "Is to...shock and awe."

Everyone gasped, except for Lily who stared blankly. "What?"

Mary grinned. "You are to pick a boy, in our year–"

"And in our house!" Angela added, too talkative for her own good.

Lily only nodded slowly, looking from one person to the other.

"And date him," Mary said simply.

"Casually," Jessica added, "For the next month."

Angela nodded. "And we wouldn't suggest something as mean as playing with his feelings or something."

"Wha–" Lily was reeling. "Why would I–"

Alice sighed. "Come on Lils, what's the worse that could happen? I mean in the end you could just get to know someone a whole lot better."

"And," Mary went on further. "Whether or not you decide to date him seriously in the end is up to you. Maybe you'll end up with a close friend."

"Or maybe it could be the guy you spend the rest of your life with."

Lily looked up to see it was quiet Annie who had spoken the words.

"So what'll it be?" They all stared at the redhead, waiting.

**xoxo**

"Angela was right," Lily said as the two slowly made their way up to the dorms, looking out for any trouble. The rest of the girls had apparently decided on a "midnight snack" and headed for the kitchens while Alice and Lily took the route back up to Gryffindor Tower. "Your dare thing was so much easier," she grumbled.

Alice just smiled sweetly like it was no big deal. After a moment of silence passed she opened her mouth. "So, have you thought about who you'll pick?" She watched her friend out of the corner of her eye. "I mean, I know there aren't _that_ many options but who do you think you'll..."

"Actually I have given it some thought. And you were kind of right. It's a good chance to get to know someone better that I normally wouldn't have given a chance to..." Lily looked bashful for a second.

The blonde stared expectantly, a grin slowly creeping up on her face.

"I mean, out of all the boys in our house and year there is someone who I haven't really given a chance to get to know," Lily stated, staring through the darkness as they walked. "Peter."

Alice nearly tripped over air.

The two continued on in silence for a few moments.

"Oh," Alice said simply, blinking owlishly.

**xoxo**

"This is ridiculous! Either this is a really crappy idea or there is something wrong with her!" a voice declared.

A few heads nodded all around.

**xoxo**

**This is **chapter 1 of probably seven. Only five and a half are done but I'm trying to wrap it up. Hopefully you enjoyed.

Also, yes, I am aware of the more perverse meaning of "shock and awe".

Tell me what you think in a review, and if there are things that I can adjust before posting the next chapters I'll try. I'll try to update every week or so.

6-02-10

3:42pm


	2. Chapter 2

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 2**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

"Hey Peter," Lily said brightly, stopping by the Marauders as she walked through the Great Hall. The four of them looked up in confusion.

"Hi Lily..." the small boy said slowly, glancing around at his friends.

James' downtrodden look only lasted a second. "Hey Lily!" he also chimed in enthusiastically.

"Hi James." She spared him a glance and a warm smile – something unexpected.

And with that strange event in mind, the boys watched as Lily walked away from the group and sat down with a small blonde girl.

"What just happened?" Sirius questioned.

"Lily just said hi to me!" James said excitedly. "And with her beautiful smile, as opposed to her beautiful scowl."

Remus rolled his eyes at James' exuberance.

**xoxo**

"Hey, time to go!" someone said, grabbing her arm and pulling her up from her seat.

Lily stared at the two girls in mild shock. "Wha– Where are we going?" She glanced around the common room to find it pretty empty. Was it really that late?

"Shh," Jessica said with a smile, putting a finger to her lips. Lily's gaze rested on said girl before looking to Annie who stood next to her silently. "Just grab a sweater or something and your wand, and meet us back here in two minutes," she whispered.

"What? Why?" Lily whispered back, though she didn't know why because two people were sleeping on the other side of the room while three younger girls were heading up to their beds with sleepy looks and big yawns.

Jessica just winked. "Just go on."

Lily gathered her books with a bewildered look and made her way up to the sixth year girl's dorm room. She took a moment to change out of the school uniform and throw on a pair of shorts and t-shirt as well as grabbing the sweater and her wand.

When she got back down Jessica and Annie were sitting in armchairs by the fire and the room had cleared out.

"What time is it?" the redhead asked, making her way over.

Jessica shrugged and got up. "Well, let's get going." She and Annie started making their way to the portrait hole.

Lily blanched. "What?! We can't go out now! We'll get caught or something! It's after hours and teachers are patrolling, not to mention the ghosts and Filch and–"

A hand went to her shoulder. "Lily, stop worrying. We're just gonna go to the kitchens for a snack or whatever. And you _are_ coming," Jessica smiled assuredly. As the redhead looked ready to protest again Jessica sighed as Annie watched. "Come on Lily, just let it go. Don't be so afraid of all the consequences and just take the risk! I can't promise that you won't regret it because I can't read your mind but doesn't just the thought that anything could happen make it seem worth it?" she pleaded.

Lily stared at her blankly.

It was pretty well-known that Lily Evans was a stick in the mud, straight-laced, goody two-shoes who followed rules like no one else at Hogwarts. And most people probably thought it was because she liked being a spoilsport or loved rules – but really she just didn't deal well when things went wrong, so she avoided it.

But then she never really thought about it that way. Was it worth it in the end to be so careful and precise and keep yourself inside the lines? Sure she had fun of her own but rules didn't leave room for flexibility. There were times when she wanted to go jumping around the grounds as it rained or sit atop the astronomy tower at three in the morning and stare at the stars for a while but she never indulged in those things.

Jessica stared at Lily before speaking again. "Come on Lily, think about it this way," she said in a low voice. "If you don't do any of these random, spontaneous, impulsive things that you want to do now then won't you just regret it all later on?"

Slowly at first, she nodded, "Yeah, I will."

Jessica clapped her hands excitedly, realizing her victory.

**xoxo**

"Hey, what chapter are we supposed to be reading about in Charms?" Jessica asked as the three sat around at a table in the kitchens. She leaned on it with her elbows, chewing on a bar of chocolate.

Annie shrugged, eating a bowl of pasta. Lily barely paid attention as she looked around the kitchens in awe, it being her first time down there.

"Lily?" she asked.

"Huh?" the redhead whipped around.

Jessica just smiled and shook her head, making the earrings glint, even in the lighting. Lily stared. A house elf scurried over and smiled happily, pushing a plate with a piece of pumpkin pie to her.

"No, I'm not–"

The house elf just shook his head, gave a secretive smile and left before she could continue her protest. Seeing as she didn't want to leave it there and it was looking delicious, Lily picked up the fork and started.

"I was wondering..." Lily started off, "About all the piercings you've got."

"Oh, well I don't know if there's much of a story behind it," Jessica said.

Annie shook her head.

Lily stared at the two before Jessica sighed and spoke again.

"Well ok... I'm just...kind of...addicted," she responded with a shrug.

"What do you mean?"

She flicked at her ear. "I guess I just like them. People think it's weird, I know. It's not like I'm gonna go overboard and regret it later. I love them... I just can't really explain why I'm so attracted to them."

Lily nodded, another piece of pie going in her mouth. "So how many do you have?"

Jessica grinned and pulled her hair back for Lily to count the three on one ear and four on the other, including a cartilage piercing.

"That's kind of cool actu–"

"And!" Jessica jumped up and pulled the hem of her shirt up midway to show off the piece of metal in her navel. "Tada!"

Lily almost fell out of her seat. "Your parents let you do that?!" she questioned in disbelief.

She just shook her head and laughed, pulling the shirt down again. "Bet you didn't see that coming."

"What do you mean?" Lily stared at the piece of pie left, recovering from shock.

"I just didn't think you'd ever been exposed to the kind of mischief I get into," Jessica shrugged. "We only ever really saw you hanging out with Alice, and that's not a bad thing but you definitely need to get out a little more that's all. Us kids are supposed to get into all kinds of trouble at this age. It's how we learn."

The three sat in silence a moment – Lily in thought, Jessica thoroughly thanking the nearby house elves and Annie finishing her pasta with a glass of water.

"Maybe I'll get one. I used to think about it." She paused. "But I always wondered about the tongue one." And she stuck out her tongue, making a face.

Eyes glanced over at the unexpected words.

Lily smiled, lifting a glass of water that had been put down on the table earlier.

"To no regrets."

The other two girls smiled after sharing a quick look and raised their own goblets.

"To no regrets," they chimed together.

**xoxo**

"Alice, I think I'm having a panic attack." Lily stared off with her face frozen in what looked like pain.

The blonde looked up from her notes to her friend. "What're you talking about?" She rested her chin in her palm and followed Lily's gaze.

"I don't...go on dates," Lily said in a pained voice.

Alice smirked, turning away with a noncommittal noise of agreement.

"Where do you go on dates?" she asked in desperation as class continued on without anyone noticing. "Oh, why am I asking you when you still haven't given Frank any inclination of your feelings?" she asked herself.

"Hey!" Alice gaped at the redhead's smirk.

"Where do people go on dates when you live at a magical school?" she questioned again with a sigh after the amusement of her friend's situation faded.

Luckily for her, an opportunity arose itself when Lily looked up from where she sat in the common room to find Peter by himself trying to read one of their class texts.

She steeled herself and got up to walk over.

"Hi Peter. What's up?" she asked as she stood by the table that he occupied by himself.

He watched her warily. "Hi, Lily."

"What're you reading?" she questioned, genuinely curious.

He showed the cover for their History of Magic class and Lily unconsciously slid into a seat.

"What chapter are you on?"

Again, he gave a strange look. "It wouldn't matter if I was finished with the book because I'm never gonna be able to remember it all. I don't know how I passed my O.W.L.'s," he grimaced.

Lily made a similar face. "I know how you feel."

"What?" Peter asked in shock. "How did you do?"

"Well, I didn't do so great in Care of Magical Creatures..." she said, looking ashamed.

"Well nobody's perfect," was his response, trying to be helpful. "But that class was a killer."

The two paused a moment before breaking out in laughter at his unintended pun. Lily smiled kindly and they both paused, examining the different parts of the room.

"Lily," Peter finally said, turning to her.

"Hm?" she responded, turning to face him as well and tearing her gaze from where Gina and Angela sat in another corner of the common room.

"Why are you talking to me?" he asked directly, startling her as he stared at her honestly.

"What?"

"I mean, we aren't really friends or anything. I know already that you argue with Sirius over his bad habits and you're good friends with Remus and you hate James but you and I never–"

"What?" she asked again blankly through his rant. Lily stared at the boy in front of her.

"So why start now?" he concluded.

Lily looked on with her mouth agape. "What?" she shook her head, trying to take in all that he'd said. "I..." she started again. "I don't hate James," was the first thing she said.

Peter noticed this and turned away to hide the grin he had. Then he coughed quickly and faced her again.

"And as for us not being friends... I mean, why not change that? I've found out a few things this past week," she replied wistfully, chin in her palm. "I'd been so wrapped up in my own world for such a long time, even though we're in a school full of other people. I haven't given many people the chance to be friends." She smiled at him. "And I noticed it too – that I seem to interact with James, Remus and Sirius but I never really got to talk to you with them always around and causing trouble."

He grinned, thinking of the mischief the Marauders loved.

"So," she went on. "There's no reason why we shouldn't be friends, only reasons why we aren't already," Lily concluded. She looked around at the dwindling room of people. "I think I'm gonna head up and get ready for bed. We have that Charms test tomorrow."

Peter groaned, smacking his head. "Yeah, I knew I forgot something!"

The redhead smiled pitifully at him. "Don't worry about it too much. It's only a minor test and you can make it up next time if you do that badly," she comforted before turning to walk away. Then she stopped and looked back. "Hey, Peter?"

"Yeah?" he asked while replacing the History of Magic book in front of him with the Charms text.

"Wanna hang out the next Hogsmeade weekend we get?" Lily questioned.

"Sure." He looked up to smile sincerely.

**xoxo**

Lily stared around the room as she got up to the sixth year girl's dorm the next day. "What happened?" was all she could ask.

"She's trying to find something to wear on her date tomorrow," Angela replied shortly from where she sat cross-legged at the foot of her bed and stared at the brunette who was examining herself in a full length mirror at every possible angle.

Lily looked over at Gina who was staring at her reflection critically.

"It looks fine to me," she shrugged, walking over to her bed and throwing herself onto it. "Where is everyone?"

Gina turned around looking ready to cry. "But–"

Angela hurriedly got up and went to comfort the girl as Lily sat up wide-eyed and wondered at her mistake.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize that–" she started stuttering out.

Gina swiped at her face and quickly she was almost back to normal. "No, I'm just out of my mind over this that's all," she replied quietly.

"She's liked this guy since fourth year but she kinda gave up on actually dating him. Now they're partners in potions for that upcoming assignment and he's realized how great she is."

"Oh," Lily blinked, taking it all in.

Gina looked bashful at Angela's compliment.

"Anyway," Angela continued, walking over to a bureau and picking through some clothes. "Mary and Jessica went down to the kitchens and I have no idea where Alice and Annie are." The small blonde carefully inspected something before shoving the skirt into Gina's hands. "So," she turned to Lily who sat there watching, "You wanna help us out?"

"Uh..." Lily stared around the cluttered floor at the other side of the room. "Well...I mean, I don't know all that much about..." She trailed off unintentionally as her voice became smaller.

"Oh come on! I totally trust your judgment!" Gina said, suddenly happy as she pulled off the dress she had on in front of her friends. Lily looked away in embarrassment but no one else seemed to mind. "You coordinate things so well sometimes that I'm envious. And it's never flashy or over the top too! You always look put together and simple," she gushed happily.

"Really?" Lily asked curiously, looking down at her clothes.

"You should give yourself more credit," Angela replied with an affirmative nod and her hands on her hips before examining the skirt Gina had pulled on.

Lily stared at the skirt and looked around the room in silence. "How about...that shirt?" She got up and grabbed up off one of the beds.

"A t-shirt?" Gina looked to Angela uncertainly.

"Trust me," Lily said before suddenly pulling it over the other girl's head. "The shirt is a solid fuchsia color and your skirt is white and tiered. It'll look simple, like you aren't trying at all." Gina's head and arms were through the designated slots. "When he sees you it'll look like you just threw on some clothes and went out to meet him."

After adjusting some things on her makeshift doll, Lily turned the girl to the mirror and eyes went wide.

"You're so right!" Gina said, staring at her figure with her mouth open. "And all I need are some easy to walk in flats and my hair could be in some messy half up-do and it'll look great!"

"That was pretty brilliant," Angela commented with a smile. "I've been trying to reassure her for like the past hour." Lily just smiled back, unsure what to say as Gina went about pinning up her hair for a test run. "Your opinion matters you know," she went on, staring straight at the slightly taller girl.

Lily was startled at the admission. Her shocked expression slowly eased into a grin. "That's...how it is with friends, right?" she responded and found it was the right thing to say.

The three laughed and continued to watch as Gina asked Lily for more advice on what she hoped would be future dates with the sixth year Ravenclaw named Kevin. Angela got tired of it quickly, seeing as she had been there longer than Lily and started to throw on some of the jewelry, hats and other accessories that Gina had lying around.

"How do I look?" Angela questioned, walking around exaggeratedly and making pouty faces.

Lily started laughing at the makeup and nearly fell off the bed. She caught herself quickly and glanced down.

She stared at the piece of clothing on the floor.

"Hey, so what do you think?" Gina and Angela both looked to her at the same time and asked.

"Uh, looks great," she responded, managing a tiny smile.

The brunette girl just sighed and dropped the dress from holding it in front of her. "I don't want you to just agree with me and not give your honest opinion here."

Lily chewed her lip, thinking this over and glanced at the shirt one more time. Gina followed the redhead's gaze.

"Oh..." She stooped to grab the shirt. "Did you want to try it on?" she suggested. "It's Angela's but..."

Lily shook her head firmly.

Angela rolled her eyes. "Come on Lily Evans. Stop being so uptight. It's more than okay if you wanted to borrow something. In fact–" She looked at the shirt closely after snatching it out of the other girl's hands. "I don't think I'll ever be wearing this. I'm not exactly sure why I bought it." She smiled slowly and tossed it over to the bed Lily sat on. "Try it on!" she said excitedly, forgetting all about her weird combination of seashell necklaces and pink eyeshadow.

Lily smiled gratefully. "Ok!" she said, getting excited as well.

**xoxo**

**I've reread **this a bunch of times but I should do so again before posting. And yet I won't. I'm being lazy. If I keep putting it off then I also put off posting it so I just decided to go for it and then reread after.

Tell me what you think!

6-27-10

12:21am


	3. Chapter 3

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 3**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

"Hey, you busy?"

Lily and Alice looked up to see James standing before them in front of the armchairs.

"Hi, James," Alice greeted, and then made a face to Lily.

"Hey," he returned. "So Lily, are you free tonight to help me study for Potions?"

Lily looked dumbfounded for a second before remembering her promise. "Oh, sure!"

"I'll just get out of your way then," Alice replied with a wink and gathered her things from the nearby table.

James quietly took the seat that Alice had occupied and was laying out his books on the table as she scurried away, laughing at Lily the whole while.

"So..." he started off, looking up at her and pulling his hand away from the last book he'd placed.

Lily just stared blankly and glanced around the room. Alice had already left for who knows where and the common room wasn't packed but it definitely wasn't anywhere near empty either. She spotted Mary hanging out with a few people in one corner and Angela was sitting at a table staring hard into the pages of a book.

The redhead grinned to herself and turned back to James who was nervously pushing a hand through his hair.

"So what did you want help with again?" Lily asked, thinking about a visit to the kitchens for some cake.

"Uh, potions!" he said excitedly, pulling the book onto his lap.

"I don't get why you couldn't ask Remus to help you out," she responded, taking the book from his hands and turning to a specific page.

James shook his head. "He keeps saying he's busy with all the classes he's taking this term." Then he unexpectedly leaned forward to share some secret. "But really I think he's hanging out with some girl that he won't tell us about."

Lily shrugged. "Then why don't you Marauders pop out from walls and dead end corridors like you normally do and find out who it is?"

"We would but he's always taking the map with him–" James started with a frown and brows coming together.

"The what?" she asked, looking up at him curiously.

"Uh... So what are we studying this week again?"

"The Draught of Peace. It really isn't so bad..." she trailed off, staring hard into the book. "Here, all you need to do is memorize the order you add everything and the amounts and-"

"Oh, right. That'll be easy," he replied with heavy sarcasm. "How do you do it?"

Lily looked up quickly. "Do what?"

"This!" He held up the book near his face and shook it slightly. "It all looks so easy for you, even with things that nobody else seems to get and yet you understand it!" He rested an elbow on the armchair and put his face in his palm to lean forward. "So I've always kind of wondered, how do you do that? I'm pretty jealous over it."

"I-I–" she stuttered, leaning away in surprise. Then she just turned away altogether. "Well first, you forget about having a life," she smiled and looked up. "And there's really no point in sleeping for a full night when that's time that could be used for studying."

He grinned. There was a pause where James wasn't being obnoxious and Lily wasn't tearing him down or having violent thoughts towards the boy. They went back to reading through the potion and tried to get him to memorize the steps involved.

After Lily started laughing at his mispronunciation of something he began staring.

"You know, something's different..." he started off.

Lily pretended to not have heard him. "Hm?"

"Why aren't you biting my head off for coming within two meters of you?" he asked.

"Why aren't you professing your love and throwing flower petals at me?" she shot back.

"Good point." James started to gather his things. "Well Lily-flower, I think that's enough mind numbing exercise for now. I'm a busy man and all."

"What?" She stared as he gently tugged the book from her hands.

"I've got some things to take care of and I'm sure you do too so we'll just pick up another time, right?" he grinned as he stood

Lily didn't say another word as she watched James Potter walk swiftly up to the boy's dorms and out of sight. She sighed and slumped in her seat wondering how an entire hour passed pleasantly with someone who she had once considered an arrogant toe-rag.

Maybe he wasn't all that bad. Just like Mary, who she'd always thought was just a big gossip and Angela, who seemed like such a rude person before she got to know them.

And maybe it was better that she was letting go of her rigid and unconfirmed misconceptions of so many things.

**xoxo**

Someone groaned and sat down heavily in the seat next to her, making Lily glance up from the notes she was rereading.

"This has been such a lo-ong day," Mary groaned and buried her head in her arms crossed atop the table.

Lily looked startled at the companion, seeing as she hadn't spent much time with Mary.

"What're you up to?" Mary asked when she didn't get a response.

"Just reviewing some things," was Lily's reply.

"For class?" she asked again and sat up straighter to stare at the words. The redhead managed a weak nod as she was being scrutinized. Mary watched a few moments longer before speaking again. "Why bother? We're not going," she declared loudly, though the common room was mostly empty.

"What? Why not? It's only midday! I've got History of Magic and Herbology and–"

Mary shook her head. "We're cutting class," she grinned wickedly.

About to protest, Lily paused to think this over. If it had been two weeks prior she would have brushed off Mary's insane words and gotten up at eleven when her break was over to head to class, ignoring the other girl's plan. But things had turned around a lot lately and so she sat quietly for a moment while considering all this.

With a sigh she replied, "But I've never cut class before. Ever. I mean, won't we get into trouble? Don't I need to fake sick so McGonagall won't get angry?" Lily turned to look at her companion. "And what are we gonna do if we don't go to class? Won't someone notice?"

"Calm down Lily," Mary responded with a grin, lifting her head from the table where she had drooped down again. Then her eyes lit up. "I know exactly what we could do!" she said excitedly, jumping up from her seat and pulling the redhead with her. "And all we need are our wands!"

The two hurried up to the girl's dorm where Mary proceeded to throw her bag and books on her bed and ushered Lily to do the same.

"Where are we–" Lily was cut off as Mary shushed her and then the two were sneaking down and out the portrait hole.

It wasn't long before Lily felt the chill of the autumn air as the two stepped out onto the grounds without being noticed.

"If we get caught we're dead!" the redhead whispered fiercely, glancing over her shoulder towards the castle every few paces.

Mary chose to ignore all these doubtful words and kept her hand around her friend's wrist while keeping up a steady gait.

When they did stop it was so unexpected that Lily stumbled forward a bit before gathering herself and looking up. Mary let go of her and the two stood staring out across the lake with the sun high in the sky at almost midday.

The surface reflected everything around it, including every minute detail of the sky while small ripples broke out from disturbances that nobody above water could identify.

Lily took a moment to glance at her companion out of the corner of her eyes and saw Mary standing tall with a smile and serene look that the redhead had never seen on her before. She stared out at the scenery, admiring it whole-heartedly.

Mary suddenly disrupted the mood, and startled one redhead, when she turned to said person and spoke.

"I'm going for a swim!" she declared, walking closer to the water's edge.

Lily blanched. "What?" She followed close behind, watching her step. "It's November! The lake must be freezing! And who knows what's down there! You'll catch a cold, or worse, die from hypothermia!" She looked around wildly, hoping no one could see from the castle windows.

Mary was carefully walking as well, but only because she was slowly peeling off her clothes. "It's ok! I know that hot-air charm we can use to dry ourselves and our clothes off!" She shot a smile over her shoulder, dropping a boot to the ground while simultaneously taking another step and working on the other.

"_Our_?" Lily echoed, not comprehending.

It wasn't until Mary was down to her mismatched blue panties and light pink bra with a trail of clothes behind her that Lily found it was too late to do anything to prevent the situation.

"It does look pretty chilly," Mary stated, the two standing at the edge of a slight cliff.

Lily nodded, peering down as well.

Then the brunette shrugged. "Well, then I might as well just dive in," she said before taking the initiative and jumping off into the water.

"Oh my god!" Lily shrieked, sinking to the ground and trying to get a closer look. "Are you okay? Should I use that hot-air charm?"

The water was still for a few moments before Mary surfaced, pushing her hair away and laughing loudly.

"It _is _freezing!" she agreed, still laughing.

"How– You're crazy!" Lily cried out, laughing as well, now kneeling by the edge.

"You should come in! We might never get another chance like this!" Mary called, turning away to swim to a few yards before turning to come back. "It isn't so bad once you get warmed up a bit, and it's really sunny so that helps," she said as she came closer, looking up.

The decision came quicker than either of them thought it would and Lily was pulling off her sweater, tie and skirt before they knew it. She did leave on her lingerie and the t-shirt she wore just to be modest. She dumped her clothes in a pile and stuck her wand into the ground before getting a running start and diving in.

Mary shrieked in mild surprise and it wasn't long before the two were racing back and forth, and even getting out to dive in again and again.

"I didn't think you had it in you," Mary commented as they paused in their games to catch their breaths.

Lily turned her face up towards the sun and closed her eyes while answering. "Well you were right. Sometimes it's easier to just dive in."

Mary grinned, swimming closer and quickly splashing water onto the redheads upturned face, causing another pretend fight to break out.

"Hey!" the redhead screeched. "If I had my wand–" she pretended to threaten.

Two hours later the two were sitting on the ground in their respective swimwear while looking over the lake as the sun was making its slow descent in the sky.

Mary wrapped her arms around her knees and turned to stare at her companion.

It took Lily a few moments to notice this. "What?" she questioned with a tilt of the head.

"It's just...really though, what's gotten into you? You turned so willing so quickly. For a second I thought you were someone else with a polyjuice potion in your veins," she commented.

The look of surprise turned to one of understanding slowly as she turned back to stare out at the landscape. "It just seems so unlike me, right?" she said with a nod.

"Oh no– Lily I didn't mean it like–" she quickly started tumbling over words.

The redhead just waved it off casually. "Don't worry. I get it." Her lips slowly turned upward, taking in the colors and contrast.

Mary gazed at her carefully a few moments longer before also turning her attention to the horizon. "At least one of us does," she commented, making Lily smile wider.

**xoxo**

**This chapter** only had two scenes but they added up to over 2000 words so it's why I cut it off here. Like I said when I started, finished with chapters 1-5 and half of six now but it hasn't ended yet. I will continue to update once a week. And I tried to change up the summary to see if it captures more interest.

Thanks for reading. Check my profile for updates if you'd like.

7-5-10

3:02pm


	4. Chapter 4

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 4**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

Lily glanced around before finally spotting her target and jogging over to him through the crowded room. "Hi," she said, announcing her presence.

He looked up quickly. "Hi, Lily."

Two people exchanged glances.

"Peter, look, I was wondering if we could meet at the Three Broomsticks at around three? I promised some of the girls we'd go window shopping," Lily smiled delightfully, her cheeks quickly turning rosy from the cold air creeping through the front doors.

"No problem. I'll see you then," the boy responded with a wave as she nodded and took off.

The grin on Sirius' face fell quicker than a first year from a broomstick. "What is going on with you and Evans?"

Remus chose to stay quiet and wait. James had yet to show up.

Peter shrugged. "Nothing. We chatted a bit about class and decided to hang out this Hogsmeade trip." His nonchalant appearance changed to one of confusion though, as if even he had no real answer to the underlying question.

"So there's no..." The two looked up at the suggestive hand motion that Sirius made to accompany his question.

Peter blanched. "Are you mad? Why would I– It's Evans! And James is my best friend, too!" Even though he expected the question, Sirius's way of asking startled him into visibly jumping.

Remus shook his head at the tactlessness being displayed by his best mates. At least James wasn't there to witness it.

"Hey!" someone shouted, out of breath as loud footsteps clambered over.

The three stiffened a moment before turning to see their last party member make his way to where they stood by the oak front doors.

James immediately slung an arm around the closest two – Sirius and Peter – and the Marauders began their trip to Hogsmeade.

"This'll be interesting," Remus muttered, loud enough only for the ears of Mr. Black. He received a suppressed grin.

**xoxo**

The redhead parted from her new friends plus Alice with a careless response of "meeting a friend". The girls all exchanged looks as she walked away. Alice sighed and shook her head.

Lily was surprised to find that while she did see Peter entering the Three Broomsticks just as she navigated through a dense crowd, he wasn't alone.

Still, she forged on and walked in a minute after and spotted the Marauders settling down at a table towards the back. She walked over and greeted them, trying not to be bothered by some of the critical gazes.

"Hey." She gave a small wave and jittery smile.

James was the first to speak up. "Hi, Lily," he replied automatically.

Peter, although a guy, was not oblivious to the rising tension. One wrong word could turn this whole situation into a giant misunderstanding. "Hey, Lily. Why don't you, uh, sit down and join us?"

She sighed and took the offered seat between Sirius and Remus while sitting across from Peter himself, and of course James.

"So where are the rest of the lovely ladies you hang around with these days?" Sirius questioned, glancing pointedly at the door they had entered from.

Lily did the same as if she thought one of them might burst through the door any second. "I'm not sure actually. Last I heard they were going to Honeydukes and maybe Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop." She let out a slight shudder.

Sirius let out a barking laugh and even Remus grinned.

"Not that I don't like tea or anything," she quickly went on, trying to catch the words before they were misinterpreted. "It's just...maybe certain occasions and...situations..." she trailed off, realizing there was no one to offend.

"No worries here, I'll get us some butterbeers," James said with a smile as he got up.

"I'll help you out with that," Remus began before a quick kick had him groaning and leaning on the table. "Shi–"

Lily was quick to respond. "No, hey, don't worry about it! I'll give him a hand!" She jumped up and commented with a grin, "Didn't know you to be so clumsy, Remus."

As soon as the two were out of earshot Remus turned a glare to his friend. "What the hell!" he snarled out, looking fierce – something that very few people saw.

Sirius grinned. "What? Did you really want to get stuck lugging over drinks? Do you even care for butterbeer? Because from what I remember–" He was effectively shut up when his friend sat back down hard and let a foot fly in his direction under the table. "Ow!" His cheerful expression turned stormy.

"Just repaying the favor," he said while Peter shook his head at the two. "Oh, Peter, I was going to ask. Did you want us to get out of here so you and Lily can talk?" He raised an eyebrow. The question was left without a response.

"This _would_ be a good opportunity to leave the couple for some alone time outside the castle," Sirius commented, glancing around uncaringly. The three looked over to the where Lily and James stood, talking about something.

"Wouldn't that seem a little obvious?" Peter spoke up, becoming uneasy at the thought of ditching his old friend and seemingly new friend without a word.

Remus leaned closer on his forearms. "That is true... We can't force Lily to spend any time with him. Look where it's gotten him the past years already."

Sirius groaned. "Oh come on! She hasn't bitten his head off at all the past week or two. Don't you think some progress has finally been made?"

"We aren't just getting up and walking out," the sandy-blonde head shook vehemently and Sirius didn't have a chance to respond as James swooped in with Lily not far behind.

The three plotting friends forced trivial smiles on their faces that James noticed right away, though he didn't question anything.

Sirius and James started a dialogue about the next Quidditch match before Lily could register the odd atmosphere. She took a sip of her butterbeer and decided to stop sitting around like a loon.

"Hey Remus, I heard you've got a girlfriend," she blurted out tactlessly. The poor boy began choking on his drink, causing James to cease his conversation and try to slap his friend hard on the back.

"Um, well..." The reddening of cheeks only made Sirius lean forward with a smirk.

"Finally!" The raucous laughter drew them some attention.

The usually quiet one spoke up. "Uh, maybe now isn't the time to discuss it." And Lily realized she may have overstepped some boundaries.

Because honestly she wasn't that close with the Marauders, save for James following her around like they're attached by string. It might have been possible to bring up the topic with just Remus but now that opportunity was gone seeing as she'd just embarrassed him in front of his mates.

Lily sighed to herself. "Oops," she mumbled as Sirius taunted Remus and Peter was rubbing a hand over his face. She did look at James just in time to catch his eye, and although he wished she hadn't brought that subject up he just shrugged and downed his butterbeer. She smiled gratefully to him. She hadn't caused that much trouble, right?

"So Evans," she looked up to see Sirius staring at her, "What are the chances of you hooking me up with one of your friends?" he grinned.

And from there things became easier.

Lily laughed outright. "No offense Sirius, but..."

**xoxo**

As Lily sat in class, spacing out instead of diligently taking notes like she was known for, she came to a conclusion just as their History of Magic lesson ended.

"You were right," she stated, shoving things quickly into her bag.

"What was that?" Alice asked, looking up in shock.

The redhead smiled. "And..." she dragged out the word, not bothering to repeat herself. "I'm grateful and glad that I joined you with the cult." The two stood up as everyone started to leave the classroom.

"The what?" Alice questioned again, this time in confusion.

Lily looked up suddenly. "Uh..."

There was a pause before the pair burst into laughter.

"So I was right, you said, huh?" the blonde went on, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "You should listen to me more often then, right?" Lily made a noncommittal sound. "Even if I were to suggest something as absurd as–"

The redhead glanced around and cut her friend off, almost as if she hadn't really been listening. "Hey, I'll see you up in the common room later, kay?"

And before the best friend could get another word out, she was left standing in the dust. Alice watched as Lily greeted Peter and heard the word 'library' before they broke off from the Marauders, who were also watching intensely.

"This sucks," a new voice supplied. Alice looked to see Angela standing next to her and only nodded.

"And to think she was talking about how she doesn't know how to date," Alice commented. "From what it looks like, people are going to start suspecting she has a crush on him."

The two left the classroom in silence.

**xoxo**

"You okay there, mate?" Sirius asked as he flopped down onto a sofa near the armchair James was sulking in.

"Hmm," the boy responded, staring into the fire.

"What's wrong with him now?" Remus asked as he took a seat on the couch as well, forcing Sirius to sit up properly. All he got was a shrug.

Remus pulled out a book, piece of parchment and quill to begin an essay. Sirius was eyeing a few females.

The sound of uninhibited laughter reached their ears as two figures came through the portrait hole. The three friends looked up to see Lily doubled-over, clutching her stomach and using Peter for support, who also looked ready to keel over. The three looked to each other at the same moment, obviously confused.

Before either two could comment, James turned away and was pulling at a Quidditch magazine from the coffee table nearby. He casually opened it and didn't move his eyes away for the next few minutes.

"Since when did Evans and Wormtail hang out so much?" Sirius questioned out loud.

Remus, the only smart one in the group who knew this was a bad thing to say, elbowed his friend _hard_.

A groan erupted just as Peter and Lily made their way over. She abruptly sat down in the armchair adjacent from James and sighed.

"Hi," she greeted with a smile. Remus and Sirius nodded along as Peter took a seat on another sofa. James was too busy to care. "Remus did you happen to start that–"

"Trying," he responded dryly, holding up the empty parchment.

Sirius, still smarting from his new injury, turned to her. "Hey Evans, wanna help me pass History of Magic?" He grinned at his implication.

Instead of glaring or making a biting remark, she laughed at him. Then quickly a memory came around. Lily sat up straight and turned to James, dropping a hand on his arm to get his attention. "Oh right! James, did you want to go over anything else from Potions? I almost forgot we've got a test coming up soon..." She trailed off when his startled eyes had darted from her hand to her face.

Remus and Peter looked away discreetly while Sirius openly grinned, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back.

"Uh..." James caught himself. "No thanks, I've got it covered," was his response before pulling the magazine back in front of his face.

The other three Marauders looked astonished.

"Alright, good to know you're catching up with everything then," she stood with a friendly smile. "Good luck with the essay, Remus. I'll see you guys around. Right now I'm off to gorge on chocolate frogs."

_Lily Evans, having a decent chat with the Marauders? Go me! I'm not stuck up as I thought,_ Lily continued to marvel at her seemingly one-eighty transformation from party-pooper to...partier?

In any case she didn't realize how easy it was to let go of who she was to become someone she actually liked. Alice would probably be proud if she wasn't always sighing over something.

**xoxo**

**Almost forgot** about posting this chapter.

Well I don't quite understand how this story has literally only one review and yet the stats boast over 350 hits. Anyone wanna tell me what's up with that? =D

Anyway, I have until chapter six finished and hopefully I'll get started on seven which should be the last one. If you want to see how far along I am with this story or any others just go to my profile, which I have been updating almost every day. Next chapter will be out in a week.

Something I'd like you all to check out if you can is an AMV (anime music video) I finished about a month ago. It's uploaded on youtube and I'm really happy with how it turned out. Just have a look and maybe tell me what you think. Take out the parentheses and it should work.

Link: /watch?v=M5ThUPFmFLY

Thanks for reading, reviewing and any support you can give.

7-12-10

1:38pm


	5. Chapter 5

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 5**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

He watched from across the Great Hall with a sigh. He slowly walked over, remembering the earlier conversations with his friends.

"Sorry mate, you're on your own. I've still got this essay to write. Only five and a half more feet." Remus had said without looking up from his scribbling.

"Are you asking _me_?" Sirius had responded with a laugh.

"Hey James, do you know anything about this plant that's supposed to cure–" Peter had asked back, flipping through the pages of their Herbology text.

Now this was his last chance or else he'd fail that blasted Potions test she had been talking about.

"Hey Lily," James said, standing behind her eerily. His face was contorted in a grimace that he tried to hide when she turned around.

"Oh. Hey James," she responded.

The girl beside her, Gina, raised her brows at the boy challengingly. He was suddenly nervous with her gaze.

"Well, I was just wondering if that offer to help me out with Potions was still open," he mumbled out in a rush, glancing anywhere else.

He felt humiliated after having turned down her help the other day. His hands were sweaty and his face felt flushed – hopefully she didn't notice. Last thing he needed was her to throw all this in his face, or at the very least point it out.

He was not in his element. He was acting pathetically. He couldn't even help it. And it was all because of the damned slow smile that crept up on her face as she said "Sure, no problem!" in what had to be the girliest voice she possessed.

"Alright, tonight? Common room!" he suddenly spouted before turning around and power-walking away.

Lucky he hadn't tried to eat breakfast yet.

_What __**is**__this?_ he questioned himself. _It's like...like I'm falling for her all over again!_

Gina eyed the boy as he stomped away. "That was a little strange."

"What?" Lily said around an apple.

"It looked like–" She paused, looking unsure. "It looked like he was having a hard time talking to you."

Lily stopped chewing, then swallowed. "James?" She glanced at the door he had left through.

"Or maybe he wasn't feeling well and he was forcing himself to make plans with you quick before he had to leave!" Gina supplied quickly.

Lily was still staring as she thought about how his eyes couldn't meet hers, just minutes ago.

**xoxo**

The redhead cautiously took a seat next to James on the couch in a corner of the common room later that night. He was startled at first by her entrance.

"Uh, hey," he said jerkily, then busied himself by pulling a book from his bag. "Thanks for this, by the way."

"Hmm," was her response, watching him out of the corner of her eyes.

The next twenty minutes rolled along without any conversation outside of Potions. Lily was explaining how to chop up the ingredients properly and why they needed to be added at specific times, i.e. when the potion turns green instead of purple.

There was a pause as James scribbled something in his book. Lily watched his handwriting as he made a note to himself, the scratch of almost illegible letters coming together because he was too lazy to lift his quill for each to separate.

She was lost in thought as she imagined a random four letter word he'd written turn into cartoon-ish figures of him and the other Marauders, always connected by that little something.

James noted her spaced out expression. He cleared his throat and flipped the page, snapping her out of it quickly.

Lily blinked to herself. They both pretended to read the page.

Finally she asked, "Hey James, how good of friends are you with Frank Longbottom?" She looked up to try and meet his gaze but he didn't budge.

She had been wondering lately about that crush Alice had. Maybe she and some of the other girls could help with the situation. Irony at its best.

James was busy wondering what kind of sick joke was it that when he was finally able to get closer to Lily, she seemed to be interested in all his friends. He still had no idea as to what was going on with her and Peter, and he felt stupid for even thinking to ask his friend about it.

He sighed to himself and lifted his head after a moment. "Why do you ask?" he feigned nonchalance.

Before she knew it, Lily found the plan spilling from her lips. "I wanna set him up with Alice because she's liked him for way too long and I think she's starting to get all hopeless and depressed over it and she's my best friend so I don't want to see her sad!" she finished in a breath.

James tapped at his glasses randomly in thought.

"Yeah, okay, I know I sound like I've been hit with a bludger or something but really I think I could pull this off!" she rambled on, rolling her eyes in the beginning and ending with an excited tone.

He scribbled something that Lily almost read out loud. Her gasp of indignation made him grin, but not look up.

"I am _not_ a loon!" she smacked at his arm.

The boy tried to use the book as a shield when she continued to assault him after it was clear he did not learn his lesson. Lily pulled back a second and smirked.

"I'm such an idiot!" she declared, contradicting her earlier defense, then pulled out her wand and poked his cheek.

"Uh, come on now. There's really no need for–" Even as he spoke with a slight nervous twitch he wasn't ready to quit and instead had lunged at her, grabbing her wrists and causing her to drop the wand as she struggled through her laughter and against his strength.

She tried to knee him as he caught both her hands and held them above her head. "Potter you had better let go of me or else," she stated menacingly. Then she smirked again. "Or else you're gonna have to find someone else to help you study!" she threatened, making him pull back quickly.

"Damned potions," he cursed as they both sat up and shared a chuckle.

"Wanna go over it again, just in case?" she asked, reopening the book for them.

He grinned, ready with a line about how spending any more time with her would be a blessing he couldn't turn down, but then something struck him. Hard. James looked up to find Lily tapping his head with her wand and pointing it to the book.

The boy smiled in appreciation at what she'd unknowingly prevented.

Even though Lily stopped paying attention after ten minutes, in which James demonstrated he knew what he was talking about, she didn't get up from the couch just yet.

_He doesn't have a problem trying to talk to me. Gina was reading too much into his behavior. It's James Potter, he acts strange all the time!_ she thought, staring at him openly.

James absentmindedly scratched at his ear while rereading something to himself. "Hey Lily, didn't you say that it needs to sit for at least–" He glanced up swiftly to find her watching him.

"Huh?" Lily stumbled, surprised.

And so James Potter found himself at a loss for words.

The clock in the room chimed and they both looked up at it for a moment.

"Oh shoot!" Lily cursed, jumping up and grabbing her bag and notebook.

"Wha-What's wrong?" James questioned frantically.

"I said I'd meet up with Peter to–" Lily finally stopped herself as she realized something. Then she found herself staring at James in concern.

"See you later, Lily," he responded, gathering his stuff and smiling to her.

She walked away unsurely, wondering at her obliviousness. It was surely tactless to bring up certain topics around James.

**xoxo**

Lily took a long gulp of the hot chocolate put in front of her, even as it warmed her throat a little too much.

"You okay?"

She looked up to find Peter staring on in concern as the two sat around in the kitchens for a snack before heading up to bed.

"Yeah, just...haven't quite finished that essay yet," she smiled weakly.

The silence between them continued while the house elves went about their work, unbothered.

"Hey Lily, can I ask you...just what exactly are you doing?" the usually timid Peter Pettigrew questioned.

The redhead stared blankly. "What?"

The boy sighed. "You and I both know that one of my best mates has the crush of the century on you and you've been hanging out with _me_ of all people!" he said obviously.

"But it's only beca–" She was cut off.

"He'd do anything for you! Everyone's tried to talk him out of it – his love for you. And I'm only making things worse for him now!" Peter jumped up, suddenly very passionate about his loyalties. "Just what are you doing – giving me so much attention when James is so in love with you?!" he shouted in disbelief, momentarily halting a good portion of the kitchen.

Lily stared up at him with no words. She watched as his face turned to disappointment and he hurriedly left.

Nearby house elves stared at her openly, because everyone in the castle knew of James Potter's infatuation with one Lily Evans. Slowly they resumed their tasks when all Lily did was stare down at her half-closed fist on the table.

A tall glass was placed in front of her suddenly and she looked down to see a house elf wink.

"Firewhisky," he whispered encouragingly.

She stared at it a moment before shaking her head and pushing the glass away.

**xoxo**

Sure Lily had been dense about some things up until this point. In fact she had been ignoring certain things point blank. She pretended all those years of harassment from James Potter had been in her imagination as she tried to let go of the past and move on from holding grudges. It was helped by the way he didn't flaunt his affection anymore and so rumors about them slowly diminished.

And though she should have been in a quest to complete this dare proposed by her new friends...the idea of dating Peter had been unconsciously erased from her mind when she decided there were nothing but platonic feelings there. Instead she kept hanging out with him so often because of her sense of duty and obligation to the task. That and she was realizing he was a good friend, as proved by his outburst just the other day in defense of his mate who was being hurt by her careless actions.

Really, what's a girl to do in such a tangled situation?

She went back to studying hard. She hadn't had a good conversation with any of the girls, including Alice, for days. She watched everyone more carefully instead of living her life like before.

Things seemed normal.

Except that she refused to acknowledge James' feelings for her. She watched him and the Marauders throughout lessons and from down the table in the Great Hall. He acted no different than the past few weeks. She was convinced he was over her and wondered why Peter thought otherwise.

She sighed to herself, lying flat on her back on a couch in the common room that was just about empty this evening.

_I really am a weirdo. Normal people would confide in their friends. Share their worries and receive some comfort,_ she thought lazily through hooded eyes.

She had no idea where any of the girls were, or the Marauders.

Just when she was starting to doze off someone stood over her and shook her shoulder gently.

Her eyes opened leisurely as she looked up into the apprehensive gaze of Gina.

"Good. I was hoping you'd wake up," the girl sighed as Lily moved to sit up. "It's time to head out." She winked and made a 'shh' motion with a finger in front of her lips.

"What? Where...?" Lily supposed she was more tired than she looked if she could barely string a sentence together.

"It's a surprise. I was sent to get you because it didn't seem like you got the note." The brunette pulled on Lily's wrist for her to stand. "Have you got your wand on you? Alright." Gina dragged Lily to the portrait hole. "I guess you haven't been up to the dorms since lunch before the note was on–"

She stopped when the portrait opened and four figures walked through uncaringly. Lily's gaze instantly averted to her wrist, still being held.

Gina glanced around unsurely. "Hi, guys."

Sirius grinned as the others looked up. "Where are you two off to?"

"Just a little stroll," Gina responded lightly, avoiding his flirtatious look and continued moving forward.

"Better be careful, half an hour til curfew!" he called with a laugh.

**xoxo**

"This is amazing." She was momentarily pulled out of her stupor to marvel at the room.

"It's the prefect's bathroom," Mary stated proudly as the girls stood a moment. "You guys took forever! And you know we can't start the festivities with anyone missing."

"How did you–" Lily started.

Someone cleared their throat. "Ahem, I uh, happened to be acquainted with one of the prefects," Angela stated with a hand half covering her mouth.

Jessica laughed, "Angela used to date him and they even spent an evening or two in here."

Mary whistled to get a reaction as Angela glared at the tanned girl.

"That tub looks amazing, what do you think all the faucets are for..." Gina wondered, glancing around.

"Well I thought it'd be nice to have a little hot spring kind of treat tonight before we head up to bed. Just an hour would be enough, right?" Mary asked around.

"We don't exactly have the proper clothes for this," Alice mumbled, looking down at her shirt and tugged it.

"Don't worry! I've picked up a few things in transfiguration!" Angela suddenly exclaimed. "I could turn our clothes into swimsuits and then back again when we're done."

"Um..." Annie interrupted.

There was a pause.

"She's right! You can barely transfigure a pen!" Jessica nudged with a smile.

Angela pulled out her wand and flippantly waved it as she spoke. "Oh, what's the worse that could happen? You'll have a suit with sleeves?"

Gina and Alice were already taking off their shoes.

"I say the more experienced out of us do this. I don't want a suit that looks like a speedo," Mary said, pulling her hair out of its ponytail.

Everyone looked to Lily who was sitting at the edge of the large, empty tub.

"Huh?"

Ten minutes later the seven girls were wading through the hot water and giggling to each other.

"Let's see..." Jessica murmured, turning a faucet to find it let out bubbles that rose into the air. A few of the girls giggled.

"I hope we do this again," Alice sighed as she moved to lay her head near the pools edge while treading water.

Lily sat at another end and let her feet kick at the water without joining the others.

"Well, this _is_ a special occasion!" Mary said with a grin, swimming around for a minute and attracting all eyes. She climbed out and got something from her bag.

"We're drinking?" Gina questioned uncertainly. "Why?"

Angela, who seemed to be in on the plan, smiled as she helped Mary with the goblets. After they were passed out to everyone she lifted hers and announced, "To Gina! For finally getting together with that Ravenclaw!"

Said girl turned pink and downed the drink without a word.

"What?"

"You guys are dating now?"

Mary answered instead with a wink. "Yup, I overheard as I was late getting to Charms. It was so cute the way she looked shell-shocked. At least you managed to answer, right?" She looked to Gina, who was trying to hide behind her hair that was plastered to her head.

"Yeah..." she giggled nervously. "Sorry I didn't mention it to any of you yet. It only just happened earlier and I'd forgotten when McGonagall gave us that assignment."

"Don't worry," Annie said, taking another sip slowly.

"Lily, you okay?"

The cheerful atmosphere was interrupted by Alice's concerned voice.

"Huh?" the redhead jerked, spilling some of her untouched drink into the water. She smiled. "Yeah." And with a nod she took a big gulp.

"...colder so it's a harder to go out on dates!" Gina laughed with Alice and Jessica at one end of the pool.

"Yeah but now _he_ can keep you warm whenever you go out," Angela replied with a sly twitch of the lips. There were some laughs at Gina's innocent blush.

"That's right, you're lucky. Here's to...finding that person to keep you warm!" Mary spoke suddenly, holding up her goblet in another toast.

The girls assented with their own arms raised.

Lily tried to smile and go along with their celebration, though she didn't have much of a love life to go on.

"So you're spending all that time with Pettigrew lately," someone said to Lily as she started fiddling with a faucet.

"Hm? Oh, sure!" she replied, smiling.

There was a pause and no one wanted to ask. They all knew he was her choice for their challenge. Instead Annie came out with an even better question.

"Why him?"

The silence reigned until Alice purposely dropped her goblet, prompting everyone to decide they should leave in half an hour.

The main subject of everyone's thoughts waded through the water thinking, _Should I just admit the truth and turn down their dare?_

**xoxo**

"Now what?" someone questioned.

Two others glanced around without answers.

"Maybe we should give up, tell her it's off," one of them suggested.

"I guess..." the first voice said, looking disappointed. "It would have been something amazing to see James Potter and Lily Evans get together, if only she weren't so stubb–" The person trailed off as a truth was revealed.

This is what Lily overheard as she was combing the library for material to write her essay.

At first none of it made sense and she would have ignored it if her name wasn't mentioned. And now as she stood at the end of the aisle, caught eavesdropping and aghast at what she'd discovered, Lily realized why the voices were so familiar.

Angela, Mary and Alice stood there staring at her in shock.

"You-you were messing with me!" she suddenly accused.

"What? No! Lily we weren't–"

Alice's reply was cut off as Lily did a very unexpected thing; she threw a _book_ at her best friend's head. In the middle of the library. They were all grateful when Madam Pince didn't suddenly appear in a rage.

"That challenge...it was all some-some joke to you guys, wasn't it?" Lily rambled on, not listening as they tried to explain. "Everyone knew!" she realized to herself. "You were trying to force me into dating James. He knew too, didn't he? That's why he asked about help with Potions..."

Lily stormed off in another direction, weaving through bookcases as Alice tried to follow, but she was at a disadvantage. Very few people knew the library like Lily did, and so she got away quick enough.

She didn't start bubbling over with tears at the humiliation. She was slightly angry at her own stupidity. But mostly she just wanted to get away and be alone for a while.

Part of her knew she was overreacting. She would have to cool down and go back for the rest of the story, still burning in shame of course because of what she'd found out.

But then she remembered this feeling even though it had been a long time ago. It was what made her face burn in embarrassment at the moment. It was what drove her feet to dash away even though they ached. It was why she couldn't face them until she calmed her frantic heartbeat and increased breathing.

Betrayal wasn't something new to her.

**xoxo**

**Damn, I **almost forgot about posting this chapter today. Okay well here goes. Tell me what you think.

Also, just to let you know, I have chapter six done as well, so it will be out in a week. And I really need to get started on chapter seven, which hopefully will be the end.

If you want to see how far along I am with this story or any others just go to my profile, which I have been updating almost every day.

7-19-10


	6. Chapter 6

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 6**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

As much as she wanted things to go back to the way they were before Lily could hardly bring herself to look at anyone. Now, not only was she avoiding the Marauders but everyone altogether. No one could get within five feet before she was suddenly putting away her books and heading out the portrait hole or Great Hall doors. And she managed to hide herself deep inside the library until it was curfew.

She came up for bed long after everyone in the dorm was sleeping, which was usually after 2 a.m., just to be safe. And she was gone before the other girls woke up as well.

James looked up as he spotted Lily trudging her way through the Great Hall looking exhausted and pale.

It was a perfectly sunny Saturday and much warmer than it should have been for being almost December. James was especially cheerful as the Gryffindor Quidditch team was going to use this day to practice.

He paused in eating and watched as Lily took a seat farthest from anyone and started poking at the eggs on her plate.

There was hardly anyone in the Great Hall because it was so early, and James was only up due to his excitable nature when it came to Quidditch.

He wasn't the only one that had noticed her behavior lately. He had caught a few words being exchanged between Remus and Peter the other day. Even Sirius had commented when she jumped up and tripped her way out of the common room when someone approached.

James came out of his thoughts and went back to eating with a shrug. Really, what was _he_ supposed to do? They were hardly friends anyway.

A few minutes later he glanced down the long table to find Lily with her head down and her plate pushed aside. It looked like she was falling asleep and trying not to.

He sighed and waited...before getting up slowly and walking over. For once she didn't hop out of her seat, and it was probably because she was tired from all the running away and avoiding she'd been doing lately.

He shook her shoulder cautiously in case she slapped him. She didn't budge and looked pretty peaceful as she slept.

But it wasn't the time or place for that.

"Lily, wake up!" he leaned in to whisper as more students were walking through the doors. "Lily!" he tried again and shook her harder. "Lily, Slughorn wants to see you!" he said.

She jumped up, looking around dazedly. "Wha?" She blinked up at him and then rubbed at her eye like a child. "Slughorn?"

James nodded patiently. "Yeah we gotta go, quick," he instructed, causing her to stumble out of her seat. He grabbed hold of an elbow to try and help her along. Lily barely noticed and was led out into the halls and away from the paths of students.

After they turned a corner he stopped and Lily questioned him.

"What did he want to see us about?" she asked, forgetting about her resolve to avoid everyone involved in the embarrassing situation.

He sighed. Trust Lily to get straight to the point – when it came to school anyway. James turned to her and shrugged. "Nothing. I said that so you would get up and out of the way."

Lily's mouth dropped open in surprise at how easily she was deceived.

"It's just that you were falling asleep on the table and loads of students would be coming in around this time. You haven't been hanging around larger crowds these days so I figured you'd want to leave before..." He trailed off, ruffling his hair and unsure where his train of thought was going exactly. "Lily, are you okay? Lately you've been–"

Lily nodded firmly before he finished. She turned, about to make a getaway.

James sighed loudly and fixed his glasses without reason. "There are people everywhere. How am I gonna make it to the Quidditch pitch without getting caught by someone?" he asked out loud, making a point that had her stopping after only two steps.

She paused and stared ahead, trying to think this over. It was true that from their corner the sounds of students being rowdy was obvious. Well, she also had no idea where she was headed.

Lily glanced back to see James swivel around and begin walking down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" she asked suddenly. "Doesn't that just lead you to stairs that go to the dungeons?"

"Yeah, but no one's around this way. I'll just take a longer route. Might take a few more minutes but I'll live," he responded easily and walked on.

Lily thought about this. He wasn't acting like a cocky little jerk and she wondered if he even knew about the girls trying to set the two of them up.

_Maybe not,_ she thought before following after him. _Hopefully not._

She still kept her distance, staying at least two yards behind, almost pretending she wasn't following him at all.

They kept quiet as he led the way down some shady looking corridors in the dungeons before finally making it to stairs that wound back up to the first floor. Even though she tried to memorize the path they took Lily couldn't understand how in the world they made it to the Quidditch pitch without seeing a single person. But she didn't question it.

James walked confidently towards the locker rooms, assuming Lily would wander off under the stands to hide some more. He wasn't in the mood to try and chase after her when she had been avoiding him (and everyone) lately.

"Hey," she said, and then cleared her throat. "Hey!" her voice repeated loud enough to actually be heard.

The boy jumped before turning around. "What?" he looked confused. "Uh, hey..."

"Where are you going? There's no game today and nobody's going to be out to practice for another hour," was her response.

_To ask or not to ask,_ she was rambling insanely to herself.

"Oh, have you talked to Alice lately?" There was a slight pause. "Alice or...Mary? Or...well any of the Gryffindor girls in our year really..."

James stared blankly, completely uncomprehending. "Not really, nope."

Lily nodded to herself and turned to go. But then she changed her mind quickly and turned back. "Are you sure? You haven't talked to any of the girls any time, say...in the past three or four weeks?" she tried again hopefully.

"Well maybe for class or something..." he shrugged carelessly, knowing this answer wasn't what she was looking for. "Why?" James stared.

She looked around to find no one was out yet, save for them. "Well, uh...since we have so much time left...why don't we...study some more for Potions!"

James looked horrified at the thought. "Really, that's okay, Lily. That test...was yesterday."

It was like someone had bludgeoned her before she woke up this morning. Lily stared stupidly. She sighed before finally squaring her shoulders and speaking frankly.

"Look James, I'm really sorry I sound like a loon right now. I'm just a little paranoid of some things and I was kind of trying to test you." She paused and put a hand on her hip. "And because I'm not convinced there's a reason to be afraid of you now then it's one less person to avoid," she sighed and used the other hand to stick in her bangs.

"Yeah, about that, what's been going on exactly?" he questioned, watching as she walked closer and then completely past him, into the locker room. James followed after a shocked pause.

"I was kind of being set up," she spoke as soon as the doors were firmly shut behind them. She sat down on a bench and James looked around helplessly. This was the room he _changed clothes_ in. "And _you_ were supposed to be a part of it. But I guess you didn't have a clue," Lily sighed and slouched forward.

"Me? For what?" James tried to act normal and wandered over to his locker but hesitated in actually carrying through with the action.

She didn't answer. Lily let her head rest on her knees, bent over, and closed her eyes for a moment.

The moment turned into almost five minutes and when she opened them again James was sitting on the bench next to her and staring.

"What?" she asked, lifting her head up cautiously.

"Nothing," he said back. They sat there staring at each other for a moment. "Why did you bother telling me anything? Why are you even still here?" he asked incredulously.

Lily opened her mouth.

"I mean I know we aren't on crappy terms these days – meaning you don't seem to hate me anymore. But just–" He stopped and suddenly tilted his head, as if trying to look for something. "Sorry, I still can't get over the fact that we're almost having a normal conversation. You're just so different now." And with that James stood up, rubbing at the back of his head unconsciously and looking around. "I knew you better when you were yelling at me. This is kinda weird. Not in a bad way though!" he tried to correct.

Her lips sealed together as she listened to him try and explain how he felt. Finally she replied, "I guess so."

James had no idea what exactly she was referring to. He was also glancing up at the door, scared that their moment could be interrupted.

She stood up, walked over and put a hand on his shoulder with a comforting smile. "I was just giving you a chance. Everyone deserves it, right?"

He looked confused because it was obvious she was talking about some deeper issue.

"Yeah, Lily," he nodded.

Said girl was brought out of her slight daze and her hand pulled back quickly. "Right. Well I should let you get to changing and all."

She turned and almost jogged to the door.

"Oh and Lily," he prompted, making her turn back just as her hand touched the door. "Thanks for helping me study." And James smiled sincerely before going back to his locker.

Lily stared blankly. But then he started to lift his shirt without a care and she hastily pulled open the door to throw herself outside.

**xoxo**

A few light taps across the forehead were all it took for Lily to wake with a start, the fear of a mouse or bug crawling all over her face springing to mind.

She looked around to find Annie staring down at her. Lily yawned. "Wha's goin' on?" she got out.

Annie only put a finger to her lips to signal the need for silence. Then she slowly pulled the girl out of bed.

Lily grabbed her watch to assess the time. Two A.M. "I lose too much sleep because of you people," she grumbled low.

She got the idea and grabbed a sweater and her wand before following the girl out the dorm without another word. Annie had yet to give any inclination as to what they were up to.

After ten minutes of creeping through the corridors Lily turned and opened her mouth, intent on questioning this ordeal.

Annie swept a hand out quickly though, silencing her as they heard footsteps around a corner. The two flattened themselves against a wall so that they weren't noticed as the person made the wise choice to not come their way.

The redhead was silent for the rest of the trip until she recognized the familiar winding tower they headed up to. She didn't question how Annie knew no one would be there tonight for lessons or how they even made it this far without being caught.

"The Astronomy Tower," Lily breathed out as they reached the top. She took in the classroom – scattered charts and most notably the wide and tall windows around the room, used for observing the sky.

Annie smiled slowly to herself and walked over to one such window. "Yes. Always a good place to be on such calm nights. Or even just when there's an opening. We're lucky there are no classes tonight." She winked back at the redhead who was making her way over.

Lily didn't know what to expect exactly. Annie was the quietest of all the girls so far, and yet seemingly the wisest. When she did say or do something it wasn't rash or illogical or just plain stupid, which were all the things that Lily was capable of.

The taller girl turned to look at her companion. "Lily, I would ask if you're okay but I already can tell what the answer is, even if you won't say it."

There was a moment of silence. "What are you talking about?" Lily questioned, moving towards a telescope that was set up.

"You know you changed a lot since you started hanging out with all of us. It was like..." She put a curled finger to her lower lip in thought. "It sounds cliché to say but it seemed like you were finally out in full bloom. It's ironic considering your name, I know." She smiled at this.

Lily bent down to peek a look at the stars through the instrument. "I'm still the same person I've always been. What could you have possibly seen? If you didn't even know me before how can you tell I changed at all?" She had no idea why she was fighting the issue. She could have just nodded her head and pretended to have it all sink in.

Annie was quiet and let her stargaze for a few minutes. Really, why was it so hard for simple concepts to sink into this girl's head? Lily could tackle the most complicated arithmancy problems, ace Charms and History of Magic and still find time to brew Potions without cracking open the textbook.

_But,_ Annie thought to herself, _people and relationships are in a whole league of their own. Those kinds of problems, especially when reflected on one's self, were usually the most difficult._

There weren't formulas or strategies or instructions. Lily may have been book smart, just as James said, but without books she was pretty lost. She just didn't want to admit it.

"You were kind of afraid," Annie said, causing the redhead to jerk away from the telescope. "Sometimes my eyes would wander around and see you just as you hesitated about doing something. And in the end you would shake your head and turn away from what you wanted to do," she explained.

Lily turned away, pretending to examine the star-filled sky.

"Other times I noticed you were about to tell Alice something but when she turned to you...you would blink and just wave it off as if you'd forgotten and it wasn't that important. Even though she's your best friend it seemed like you didn't completely trust her." Annie turned upward to the sky as well. "When it comes down to it, you know what you want. You know the things you want to say. It's just you find it too hard or even unnecessary to go through with it."

Lily blinked, her head inching downwards as she listened carefully, wondering when she should interrupt and deny everything.

"Lily, you _were_ different than before. You _were_ opening up to everyone. You were giving people, even James Potter, a chance. How can you still be in denial?"

She had to think about this slowly, replaying certain revelations in her mind. Agreeing to hang out with these girls was that first step. That night in the kitchens with Jessica and Annie made her not want to regret lost opportunities. Gina and Angela got her to loosen her wary gaze when it came to friendships – you were supposed to be able to share anything with those kinds of people in your life right? Whether it was clothes or secrets. Mary had unintentionally pulled her out of her comfort zone and she saw it was pretty amazing to take risks sometimes. And overall Lily had noticed she stopped believing all the lies in her head that told her what the world was and how people were. People changed.

If she knew all these things then why couldn't she put it together? Why was it suddenly overwhelming to have people there?

"It's not all that easy, is it?" she finally asked, looking up at Annie.

Annie moved her gaze to her friend as well. "No. A part of you still wants to turn around and pretend it didn't happen. It was nice to socially experiment, is what your head is telling you, but let's get back to the way things were before. It was easier and nothing was at stake." She sighed. "But that's just running away. And things aren't going to go 'back to normal' like you'll want."

"How do you–" Lily was cut off before she could finish the thought.

"You already know why," Annie nodded slightly and half sat at the open window. "You aren't the first person to go through these kinds of things. Everyone does. But it's usually when we're all really little and we take that first step and as kids we kind of decide to go for it. It's hard to connect with people when you seem withdrawn. And we _all_ want to connect."

They were both quiet and Annie let Lily enjoy the clear night sky for a while without putting more pressure on her.

**xoxo**

Okay, so what?

Everyone was afraid of getting hurt. By their significant other. Or friends. Or even by their own family. It wasn't a new realization. It didn't suddenly solve how Lily was feeling.

And even though a lot of people might think she was overreacting at finding out Alice, Mary and Angela (that she knew of) had a hidden agenda the entire time since she had joined their group...Annie didn't try to persuade her to run back to them and apologize and listen to what they had to say.

Well she did, technically, but she was much more subtle about it.

Still, she was feeling pretty stupid about having tried to "date" Peter now. Especially when the girls had set up this entire debacle for her to date _James_.

Which, in all likelihood, was not going to happen anyway. Lily still scoffed at the idea of her and James together. It was only recently that he stopped being a pain in the ass.

But...

Since James usually was a great pain in the, you know, and he was pretty much used to apologizing (though until the past year it usually wasn't sincerely) Lily decided to go to him for some advice.

He did owe her for the help with Potions.

So when she saw him leave the common room by himself (for once) she got up from pretending to read a random book and followed him out of the portrait hole.

"Hey! James, wait up!" she called as he was already down two flights of stairs.

He glanced up at hearing his name and almost slipped on the last step.

Lily cursed his longer legs as she tried not to land on her face in order to reach him. "Could we...talk?" she asked between gasping for air.

"What about?" was his pretentious response, as if he had something to do – though he did look truly confused.

She paused and put a hand on the banister for support while trying to calm her breath. "Well the other day, when you asked if I was okay..." She glanced around unsurely. "I mean, we both know what the answer to that should have been."

James stared as she rambled on. At least he didn't look confused anymore.

"And I..." Lily turned to look at him earnestly. "Just need someone to talk to right now. I know we're not usually on great terms." And then she muttered to herself, "Though that's my fault, I suppose."

He quirked an eyebrow at her odd behavior. "Lily, what are you trying to say?"

"I _am _a loon!" she declared.

"No doubts here," he said while looking up nonchalantly. "Look, I was headed down to the kitchens for a snack."

Lily stared dumbly for a moment. "Oh," she said and shook her head. "Right. Okay. I'll just see you back–"

With his hands in his pants pockets, James casually looked up from staring at the floor between them. "Wanna come with?" he asked.

**xoxo**

**Chapter six** end.

Well this is the last completed chapter I have for this fic so far. In fact it's basically the last thing I have written. I was busy trying to complete Schooled and then another chapter to "Are you stalking me?!" so I put this one off because I had more time.

Now I have the next bit outlined, I just need to get writing. Thing is, this Monday-Friday I'll be back to working on some personal things most of the time. Maybe I can squeeze in some fanfic writing but I'd rather not because it would be a distraction.

I also managed to type up a chapter for my sadly forgotten and favorite (or one of) fic, "Different Colors", in the past two days. I'm not sure what to do with it yet because I was mostly just experimenting to see if I could get back into character after such a long hiatus.

This chapter is being updated in the middle of the night (for me anyway) because tomorrow I plan to go out and take care of some things so I might not be home. And because I'm so good to you all I don't want to put this off until Tuesday because I've fallen into a nice weekly schedule of posting on Monday's.

I will try to finish the next chapter by next week but somehow I'm doubting it'll come Monday. Thanks for reading and whatever else you're doing!

**Check how far along I'm getting on the next chapter for this story or any others on my profile, being updated very frequently.**

**7-26-10**

**1:18am**


	7. Chapter 7

7-31-10

12:01am

Summary–Lily tries to enter the supposed club the girls in her year have suddenly created. But they want some proof of her worthiness before they let her in. In an not-so-well-thought through plot, the truth is...they're just trying to get Lily to give James a chance. friendship/romance

**Disclaimer–I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Shock and Awe – "quick paralyzing assault"**

**Chapter 7**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

Lily sat across the room in Charms, her chin in her palm, staring around the room uninterestedly. Flitwick had already assessed her perfect performance and then went on to help the rest of her peers that was struggling.

There were still twenty minutes left. She was wondering if he would let them out early. Though he did seem pretty determined they _all_ learned the charm.

She stared with a blank expression to the four troublemakers of her year. They were laughing at something silly while trying to avoid the Professor's gaze.

Just at that moment, right as she was going to look away, a pair of eyes flitted in her direction and before she knew it she was having a staring contest with James Potter.

Lily abruptly sat up straight and grabbed the book on her desk to hold up in front of her face as a shield.

_Good job, Lily,_ she told herself. _That wasn't obvious or anything._

She sighed and then lowered the book slowly before glancing over to see if he was laughing.

The redhead froze a moment when she realized he was still staring straight at her. And there was this amused smile tugging at his lips that he was trying to force away.

She gave a sheepish shrug while biting her lip before looking away for good this time.

Okay, so she'd had a nice, amiable chat with him the previous night. They sat around eating cookies and cake and laughing at all the odd and funny things they'd seen over their years here at Hogwarts.

He was good company nowadays. He wasn't hitting on her at every chance. He wasn't being cocky and snobbish.

And she still hadn't really unloaded all her thoughts on him – or anyone – and it was really starting to get to her.

Lily knew she was an idiot. A genius, yes. But an idiot all the same.

How was she going to march up to the girls and explain how she was feeling, how she felt before? It was kind of hard to just spill your guts to someone when you were still really afraid they were gonna turn around and do their worst to you.

Okay, and yeah she was a really paranoid little– witch.

She should have come up with some way to approach them by now. It had been over a week.

_Let's see,_ she pondered with her remaining time. _I could always just write a letter._

Lily pulled out a clean parchment and put her quill to the paper. And that was where it stayed for ten seconds as she drew a blank on how to even start it. In that time the ink spread slowly, creating a spot big enough for her to make into an eye hole.

_Maybe I'm just not so great at admitting when I'm wrong,_ she thought.

Then after looking down and seeing the mess she quickly pulled back the quill and crumpled the paper up noisily.

This did not go unnoticed.

_Or instead of a letter I could just plan out what I want to say!_ her mind said, thinking she had stumbled upon a brilliant idea.

So she pulled out another piece of parchment and wrote... 'Hi.'

And after two minutes of thinking and staring down at the word it was still the only thing she had produced.

After some hesitation she drew a line through the word and then put... 'Hey.'

Suddenly there was noise and she found that everyone was standing and gathering their books. She caught sight of Alice glancing at her worriedly before making her way to the door.

"I miss her," Lily sighed to herself, not moving an inch.

"Who?"

"Alice. My best friend. I mean, I know now that _I _wasn't a good best friend to _her_ but–" She halted the rambling and looked up to see James standing behind her seat. "Uh..."

He grinned and reached for the parchment in front of her. She had to lift up her hands so he could pull it away.

"Hey," he said, raising a brow at her.

"Hey..." she replied back dumbly.

"I was just reading what you wrote." James turned the parchment so she could read her own handwriting.

"Oh." Lily applauded her idiocy.

"Wanna head to lunch?" he suggested, motioning to her bag and books.

The room had cleared out by then.

"Right," she jumped up and began hastily sticking her books and quill into the bag. Then she slowed down and said, "Wait, no!"

James stared. "Still avoiding the issue?" he deadpanned.

Lily grinned sheepishly. "Well I don't want to..."

"How about we just head to the common room?" he tried instead.

"Then you'll starve and what'll we do when you collapse in the middle of Defense Against the Dark Arts?" she asked as she finished stuffing the last pieces of parchment into her bag.

James opened his mouth to ask, "What makes you think I'd..." Then he stopped when he caught the smirk Lily was sporting. "Oh, ha-ha."

"Yeah, I know. It would be funny to see," she commented as they made their way to door.

"If you're going to keep insulting me, I might as well just go to the Great Hall and–" His taunting stopped abruptly when he felt a hand grab the back of his robes tightly.

James glanced over his shoulder to see Lily with her head down as she still held onto him.

He didn't know what to say exactly and so he only took hold of the hand on his person.

I mean, what if she pulled too hard and then he fell on her? Then they'd never make it to the common room!

**xoxo**

There were a few students around when they walked through the portrait hole. Some were waiting for their next class to begin and two others were taking a nap during their lunch break.

"Sorry about last night," James said, starting the conversation as they sat down on an empty sofa. "We didn't really get to talk about your...problems and all."

Lily just nodded while reclining comfortably. "It's okay, you were still good to me," she waved a hand dismissively with her eyes closed.

A moment later they popped open and she sat up, opening her mouth to try and retract that statement, or at the very least twist it around to her liking.

"Good," he cut in before she could say anything.

She shook her head in disbelief at herself. "I'm an idiot."

"So what exactly was this scheme that involved me?" he questioned, leaning forward on his knees with interest.

Lily cringed. "Well they were just... Look it really doesn't matter," she said instead.

Seriously, if she told James all about the girls' plans then he'd either get a big head or figure out that she had been trying to "date" Peter, which would lead to more embarrassment for her.

Psh, she still had no idea how to date.

Now that she thought about it...if their plans had worked out even a little maybe she'd have some experience in that area by now. Maybe they were doing her a favor. How could she graduate Hogwarts next year without ever having had a boyfriend?

_I'm smart so how difficult could it be? _the redhead mused with a half smile.

"James!" she said suddenly, causing the poor boy and the few others around to jump in surprise. "I need your help with something!"

"A refill on your medication?" he suggested with a head tilt.

"Maybe later," she responded without thought, causing him to quirk an eyebrow. "I couldn't write a letter and for some reason I suck at coming up with a speech so maybe you could help me," Lily suggested excitedly.

"A letter for what?" James asked in confusion. "For Alice? Why are you being so chicken? Just go talk to her."

The lack of support and in fact the opposite reaction she was looking for made her deflate a bit.

"But it's hard," she said pitifully.

James rolled his eyes and kept any perverted comment to himself. "Okay so what would I have to do?"

"You could tell her for me that–"

And that was where the plan failed. Because she realized in order to have James act as the messenger would make him privy to all the details of _everything_.

She sat still and quiet for a moment before saying, "Okay nevermind."

"You are a piece of work," James laughed, sticking a hand into his bangs.

Lily only stuck out her tongue at him.

**xoxo**

"I wonder what's going on exactly."

She shrugged. "We'll just have to wait to find out."

"You think she's still upset with us?" was asked.

"I hope not. Should we try and talk to her?"

Annie looked up suddenly to add her two cents. "No. She'll figure things out on her own and everything will be fine."

Angela shot her a skeptical look. "I thought you didn't like this whole plan. You haven't said anything at all about it until now."

The tall girl just shrugged, back to her indifference on the topic.

"Yeah, maybe we should wait. I don't want to get beheaded by a book," Alice shuddered.

**xoxo**

Lily was still jumping out of bed before her roommates but at least she wasn't as despondent as before. She didn't head to breakfast in the Great Hall in the mornings, instead going straight for the kitchens where the house elves already knew she had been having trouble as of late with her friends.

And even though she never asked for his company, somehow James would know when she was there and join her. He didn't really mind – said his friends were probably a little sick of him anyway. She didn't thank him or bring it up directly but they both knew she was grateful.

There was also the fact that he didn't like to leave her to walk to class by herself. Without Alice or any of the girls it did get kind of lonely, she managed to admit to herself.

And seeing as she had become a little accustomed to avoiding certain hallways and rooms and _people_, James was forced to go along with her schedule and managed to sit in the library more in those few days than he had the past five years. She usually managed to keep up conversation with him while peering into textbooks or scribbling down essays.

"Say James," Lily inquired and looked up slowly from her parchment.

Said boy glanced up from the drawing his was making. Figures he wouldn't actually be _studying_ in the library.

"Have you ever been in the situation where you were kind of like...you know, betrayed by someone?" she questioned.

James just shrugged thoughtlessly. "I don't really think so." Though he did flashback to her and Peter stumbling into the common room in tears from their laughter.

"Oh." She looked back down and scrawled a few more words before stopping and looking up again. "I guess not. You're not exactly the kind of person who deserves it," she mumbled to herself dejectedly.

He stopped abruptly again after having continued on with his drawing and glanced up at the redhead. "What?" And he wasn't a complete idiot so he realized there was a deeper issue.

Cuz let's face it, even though James knew there was some serious shit bothering Lily since she wasn't currently talking to any of her friends, he was enjoying his time with her so he never pushed the envelope open before. She never did seem so keen on "spilling her guts" and all that.

The sooner she got over whatever was bothering her, the sooner she headed right back to her friends which meant she probably wouldn't be hanging out with or even talking to him. So, he was being a little selfish.

James sighed and put down his quill. "You know what? Let's talk."

Lily blinked in mild surprise. "Isn't that what the girl says?"

He groaned, wondering how hard she was going to make this. It was like breaking up with her or something!

"What exactly happened with you and Alice and the other girls?" he asked, staring across the table at her.

She froze at the unexpected directness. "Well, don't worry about it. I'll sort things out soon and–"

"Lily," he sighed exaggeratedly. "It's been almost two weeks. Are you going to wait until Christmas break or something?"

Her eyes opened wide at the suggestion. "That sounds like a good idea! Then when everyone gets back we can just forget everything that happened and–"

James shot her a severe look, causing her to close her mouth. "You really _are_ being a chicken!" he accused, and then shook his head. "What happened?" he asked again firmly with an intense gaze that she couldn't break away from.

"It's...embarrassing," she mumbled weakly.

He rolled his eyes again. "So is eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with the house elves every day for the rest of the year."

She made a face that clearly stated, 'good point.'

"And if you can't tell _me _about it then how can you expect to talk to _them _about it?" he argued.

"Well I did come to you for advice in the beginning," Lily admitted while glancing to the side in anguish. "Do we have to do this now?" she whined, looking back to him.

He didn't falter at her childishness and Lily reflected that his resolve made him look so mature.

There was a moment of silence and she had yet to begin speaking, even with his 'Well? What are you waiting for?' looks.

"Come on Lily, everyone deserves a chance, right?" he threw at her.

Lily blinked at him.

And then opened her mouth...

**xoxo**

"So what do you think is up with those two?" Sirius asked while sprawled out on a sofa in the common room.

Remus closed the book he had been reading, though for once it wasn't a class text. He shrugged, though curiosity was biting at him as well.

Peter, who had been glancing around the room, looked to the friend who had spoken. "Why can't we just ask James?"

Remus shot a dark look to Sirius, knowing exactly what to expect. The dark haired boy didn't bat at eye and still went on with his usual inappropriate response.

"I don't think he'd be particularly happy if I asked if he'd nailed Lil–"

And because Remus had known Sirius was going to ignore the warning look, he smacked his friend before that statement was completed.

Peter grinned. "Classy, Padfoot. Classy."

Sirius just shrugged, ignoring the slight ache he now had.

"They can't be dating," Remus said thoughtfully.

"How can you be so sure?" Sirius questioned suspiciously.

Remus shook his head. "If they were dating then James would be singing about it to us already. He'd have this entire room decorated with streamers and balloons, throwing a party and marking the day Lily agreed to go out with him on his arm in permanent ink."

"That is pretty logical," Peter nodded.

"Yeah..." Sirius agreed, though sounding a bit torn. "But haven't you noticed how he's been behaving lately?"

Remus and Peter didn't answer that, though all three knew there was truth to it.

Though they hadn't been seeing as much of James as usual lately they had noted the absence of his wooing tactics. They hadn't heard him declare his feelings for the redhead, to her or anyone else, for a while now.

Since she was no longer hanging out with Peter, he wasn't acting like a kicked puppy. And they had no idea what he and Lily were up to because the two didn't really spend time in crowded places.

The only thing he hadn't done was sit with her in classes, where she was usually too focused to care who was around her anyway.

"At least she isn't all melancholy anymore," Peter noted.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "Whatever he's doing, he should keep it up."

Remus rolled his eyes, catching the perverse meaning behind his friend's statement.

**xoxo**

"..."

"..."

There was silence at their table in that secluded little section of the library and Lily thought she could hear crickets mocking her.

As painful as it had been, she went over just about every little detail of what had happened. She may have left out her personal feelings on a few bits but it was basically the unblemished truth.

Then James and her were quiet, not to mention slightly pink, after she faded off with, "...and that's– Yeah..."

But at least there were some positive, and immediate, effects to..."spilling her guts". She kind of felt a little relieved to have just told the story. Now that that was out of the way she could look forward to his advice and input.

If he could blink and snap out of his embarrassed daze.

Finally, Lily rolled her eyes. He was embarrassed? What about her?

"Yeah..." she started off, using the very same word she had ended with earlier.

James' eyes widened just a pinch before he blinked and glanced around. He was just getting ready to get up, leave the library and find himself a corner to think but upon seeing her hopeful look he stayed glued to the seat.

"Uh...give me sec, would you?" he asked with a small, unsure smile.

Though Lily was taken aback and a little disappointed she nodded, realizing she had released a whole lot of information. She was feeling lucky he hadn't started gloating while dancing on the table, because she had conveniently left out the part about "dating" Peter. Hopefully he wouldn't put two and two together.

James rested his arms on the table and stared at his hands in contemplation.

"So...there was this dare," he started off, though he hadn't intended to say anything out loud, "For you to date someone." His eyes flicked up at her before going back to his hands. "And they were hoping you'd have picked me..."

Lily nodded to herself, because James wasn't really focusing on her at the moment.

"And you didn't know about that ultimate goal until that day," James went on. "So you felt all flustered and..."

"Betrayed," she supplied with another nod, causing him to look back at her.

"...which led you to run away–"

_Like a chicken,_ she added in her head.

"–and then avoid them for nearly two weeks."

She waited for him to give some concluding statement that showed just how much of an idiot she was.

James opened his mouth, about to ask something. But then he closed it and rethought that course of action.

"It's almost time for dinner, wanna head to the Great Hall?" he asked instead.

Lily blinked stupidly.

**xoxo**

So the two took a seat, for the first time in days, at one end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Lily hadn't really protested or said anything because James still seemed to be thinking things over.

"Okay," he started off in a slight whisper, though the room was still pretty empty as they'd gotten there kind of early. "So you felt all betrayed before, but how do you feel now?" he questioned.

"I, uh," she started off smartly. "Well now I feel like an idiot. I mean, I overreacted. Again." She looked down and away from his waiting gaze. "And still...kind of...humiliated."

"That's a big word," he commented. "Why not just embarrassed?"

Lily shot him a look. "_Humiliated_ works just fine."

James paused, watching as more students trickled into the room. Then he turned back to her with some comprehension. "Wait...you still think they're 'out to get you' or whatever. No wonder you're keeping your distance."

"Well, yeah. I've been told I'm very good at freaking out and running away," she grumbled. "It's just a defense mechanism – it just happens. We can't all be as brave as you, Potter." And they were both surprised when she suddenly went back to using his surname.

"Brave as me?" he questioned.

She tried to come across as nonchalant while saying, "Yeah, I mean it isn't exactly cowardly to confess to the same girl every day for nearly six years that you like her and want to date her. Not to mention in front of just about everyone in the school. And getting turned down every single time? Now _that's _humiliating."

His cheeks burned at the commentary but he also looked a little hostile. "You know, I can't tell if that was a compliment or an insult."

"Neither can I," Lily muttered to herself, though he did hear it.

"Okay, so then maybe you should take a page out of my book and just get on with it!" he said loudly.

A few students nearby looked over as she slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Are you trying to be _un_helpful?" she asked furiously.

He pushed away her hand with a slight glare. "Don't know how that's possible with the way you're behaving already," he said sarcastically.

They didn't really notice as the hall started to fill up and the chatter of people got louder.

James sighed abruptly. "Don't you like having friends, Lily?" he asked.

"Of course!"

"Then here's the plan. Just get up, walk over there," he motioned down the long table where the group of girls was already seated, causing Lily to wonder how she was so oblivious. "Say 'I'm sorry I'm a loon' and then sit down so you can get back to laughing about whatever girls find funny."

She was still staring down the table after he had finished his grand plan. Then she slowly turned back to look at his expectant face.

"Why don't you go do it for me?" she suggested brightly. "I mean, _you're_ my friend."

James sat dumbfounded at that. He hadn't even realized such a thing had happened.

Friends? They were friends? When did that happen?

"James!" she was shouting. "Breathe you idiot!" And she sounded a bit panicked.

How many people did they need to stare in their direction exactly?

**xoxo**

"You think they're dating?" someone whispered.

"Might be. They spend all their time together!" another replied.

"I haven't seen him hang out with the Marauders in ages," a third voice said.

Lily glanced up in surprise wondering, _Who? Where?_

She was currently sitting at a table in the common room, working on some homework when she caught the gossip nearby.

Her brows furrowed in thought. Marauder? They were probably talking about Sirius. He _was_ the well-known serial dater.

Just as she shrugged it off and put her quill to the paper James sat down across from her noisily (causing people to look over).

Her non-attempt at dinner the previous day should have made her realize that the two of them were becoming way too complacent with the way things were.

She wasn't really trying as hard as she should have to just make up with her friends already and he was taking his friends for granted and not really giving them the time of day because he was having such a good time hanging out with his longtime crush.

Even the wisest of her friends was starting to wonder how this whole situation was going to turn out.

"I have an idea," he said before giving her a chance to say anything at all.

"Does it involve food?" she asked, eyes not moving from her paper.

"Nothing gets past you," James replied, which finally made her look up.

"Liar," she said with narrowed eyes. "You're not talking about food!" Lily accused.

The accused rolled his eyes. "Focus, will you? Look." And he pointed with an obvious motion across the common room where Alice was sitting, reading a textbook. "You can just talk to them one at a time if you'd like! It could be easier than a group. You won't feel all flustered or..._humiliated_."

She hated how he mocked her with the word. "That does sound like a good idea. Why didn't I think of it?" she murmured to herself while putting down the quill.

Lily glanced up at him in time to see the devilish grin spread across his face as he wanted to say something that would probably irritate her because it was right on the mark.

He didn't say it though.

And she blinked, wondering what was floating around in his head at that moment. Because really, _why_ didn't he just say it?

He was being beyond nice. He was being considerate and-and mature! And ohmygod what was that feeling that overtook her every time the word mature was used to describe James Potter?

_Holy sh–_ Lily's eyes widened as she jumped up from the seat and practically ran across the room to throw herself on the couch where Alice sat quietly.

"Alice!" she shouted with enough volume so the whole common room could hear. "I think I just had a heart attack!" And then she proceeded to sob overdramatically at herself.

Alice, still blonde, looked up in complete surprise and had no choice but to try and comfort her with a half hug and soothing pats on the back.

James stared on in befuddlement.

He could only shrug with raised brows at the people staring at him critically and say, "What? I didn't even say anything!" with complete innocence.

**xoxo**

Two days had passed since Lily went running back to Alice, literally. Whatever it was that had upset her so bad, no one knew. She had yet to tell someone about her revelation.

And she wasn't really having a good time because of it. She was too busy spacing out and being caught up in her thoughts to properly talk to any of the girls.

Her fit in the common room that day was embarrassing enough.

If you caught sight of the redhead at a certain moment, you could see her face twist up in shock and a slight grimace before she was blinking and it was all gone.

At the moment Lily was sitting in the Great Hall with her friends as they ate dinner, and she was tapping her fork against the plate while staring at it in thought.

There were a whole bunch of things going through her head.

How? and When? and Why didn't she notice sooner?

She closed her eyes tightly and tried to come up with a simple solution. Really, she couldn't always rely on other people to help her with things and show her the way and all that jazz.

When her eyes opened a few minutes later she knew there was the obvious answer.

And, well, what was stopping her?

She wasn't a _complete_ idiot.

...All the time.

**xoxo**

Three of the four marauders exchanged a look over the fourth's head.

So James had been a little quiet lately. It wasn't anything that required a trip to the infirmary.

But they were a little worried at what brought on this subdued mood. None of them had witnessed the event, only heard some rumors and suddenly James and Lily weren't hanging out, weren't even talking!

Obviously it was a big disappointment.

But the thing was, James hadn't even acknowledged it out loud. He didn't seem sad or upset or anything.

Because he had realized in the beginning this kind of thing was going to happen. They had been friends only out of necessity on her part. He already knew it would be different once she patched things up with the girls.

So he just shrugged it off and tried not to let it bother him. It was fun while it lasted, that's all.

"So," Remus started off cautiously while spearing a piece of broccoli with his fork.

Before he could say something tactful, Sirius cut in with, "Redheads suck."

Peter sighed in exasperation as Remus tried to deck him.

James smiled and ignored the debacle. He glanced down the table.

**xoxo**

Lily gasped so loudly she started to choke on air.

"Oh my god, are you okay?!" the closest girl, Gina, asked in surprised concern while slapping her on the back.

Alice was too busy laughing across the table from her best friend. Laughing _loudly_.

Lily changed color in embarrassment and glared at the blonde. "I almost _died_," she said emphatically, hating herself.

No one was convinced.

She stopped the chuckles from her nearby housemates when she jumped up out of her seat suddenly, and everyone was sure she was going to storm away in anger, seeing as she hadn't been interested in eating anyway.

Instead, the redhead stood there for a moment with her eyes closed tightly in concentration. She was gathering the attention of other students and even some professors looked on with interest.

Then Lily let out this deep sigh while mentally chanting, trying to build up the audacity before making her way down the table, and consequently towards the doors of the Great Hall.

_Now everyone's gonna know what an idiot I am!_ a stray thought came up, distracting her and causing her footsteps to slow down for a few seconds.

But then she just shook her head and kept moving, regaining the original pace.

Everyone's assumptions were shattered when she stopped at a particular group of boys at the Gryffindor table.

"Hi," she said.

The Marauders looked up with wide eyes – well, most of them.

"Lily, are you okay?" Peter asked outright.

She had this odd looking grimace on her face, and it was twitching to let fear show through.

"Scratch that," she looked at James directly. "Hey," her voice said, much too quiet for most people nearby to hear.

James smiled when his eyes lit up in recognition. "Hey..." he stated unsurely, unintentionally mimicking her.

Lily stood there a moment, wondering what to do or say next.

She couldn't come up with anything and the seconds were passing by. It was making her panic.

So she tried to recall what it felt like, taking all those risks and not worrying about consequences. It was always this explosion of euphoria that made laughter bubble up for no real reason.

"So I learned something this week," she started off. "I am a real chicken. And it doesn't get me anywhere."

"You don't say," James shot back, eyes mocking as he leaned towards her with his elbows on the table.

"Yeah," she admitted sheepishly. "I think too much, even though I'm an idiot," Lily laughed at herself.

"Can't deny that," he responded, which brought her to glare briefly.

But then Lily sighed and said, "Yeah...but I don't want to do that anymore. Well, not as much anyway. I just came here to say...I like you. And..." She struggled to find some parting line that would leave everyone in awe at her sophistication before sashaying out of the room – not noticing that jaws had already dropped.

So eventually she just shrugged to herself and moved forward, between Remus and Peter, across the table to grab James' tie.

And seeing as she was Lily and not as bold as she'd like, she landed the briefest kiss on his cheek possible before dropping his tie like a hot potato and pulling away to blink rapidly at her actions.

James stared at her blankly, his glasses slightly askew, wondering how Lily the chicken managed to get that past him. He had spent almost a week in her exclusive company and learned she wasn't as sure-footed as she was when turning him down all those previous years.

In fact, when did she develop feelings for him? (Not that he was complaining.) But when they had that 'friends' talk he was surprised then too. Now he was...

Ah! There it was! The perfect line!

Lily smirked, thinking she'd finally get it right.

"So, wanna go to the library and...s_tudy_?" she asked.

James could only imagine how foolish he looked as the wry smile crept up.

**xoxo**

They weren't sure about the other houses or even the professors, but Gryffindor common room was still shifting around in stunned silence.

Curious eyes glanced over to the few people they thought might have some answers, but no one approached with the questions.

"Wow," Gina commented.

"I didn't think she had it in her," Jessica responded.

"She _didn't_," Alice said back.

Mary bit her lip. "You know, to be honest I didn't think this whole plan was going to work."

Angela looked up sharply. "Then why did we go through with it!"

Sirius was grinning and shaking his head. "How do you know it was your plan that did it?"

"Why is he sitting with us?" Jessica asked, pointing a thumb over her shoulder while addressing _anyone else_.

"Where did they go anyway?" Alice questioned.

"If we had just followed them like I–" Sirius was saying again.

Though Jessica looked at him with raised brows she didn't say anything out loud.

"Yeah, I kind of wanted to follow them too–"

Mary shut up when most of her companions looked at her.

Peter mumbled something that no one could hear.

"What?" Alice asked, looking at him.

"I think they may have gone...to the _library._"

There was a collective shudder where everyone knew they could never look at Lily and books the same way again. The pause stretched on until Mary looked up.

"Well...she sure shocked him," she said.

A few of them smiled while Sirius and Alice burst into laughter.

Angela nodded. "And left us in awe."

"Hey, where's Annie?"

Gina waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, she said her and Remus were going to study."

Everyone stopped and looked up in surprise. Sirius jumped up, looking at Peter.

"Where's the map? Where's the map?" he asked eagerly in haste.

Peter looked at him hopelessly. "He took it!" he confirmed in surprise.

Sirius groaned, covering his face as the girls looked on in confusion.

**xoxo**

"So how exactly did this happen?"

"Well, my thoughts were all like, Holy sh– I like James Potter! And then I was all, ohmygodohmygodohmygod for a bit and then I was like, screw that! I've been acting like an idiot too long! No more of that! And so I jumped up, marched over–! ...And then started spewing nonsense and praying I wasn't just _humiliating_ myself and that I wasn't the _only_ one who felt this way and–"

"Breathe!"

Pause.

"Okay, so yeah."

"I guess that'll be a good story to tell people when they ask about this relationship."

**xo end xo**

**XD **I love Lily. She's so adorable.

I'll tell you the truth. I used to be like that. Seriously, that kind of character is not unrealistic! I was really bad with confrontation and always getting upset with people and then I avoided talking to them for _amazing_ amounts of time before I finally gave in and went crawling back like an idiot.

I had so much fun writing this chapter, but to be honest I wasn't sure I could get into it. It had been weeks since I last wrote something for this story and in that time I had been writing for other fanfics (Schooled, Are you stalking me?!, Different Colors, the one-shot Crushed, as well as other still-in-the-works projects) so I wondered if I would be out of touch with Lily's plight and James' uncharacteristic behavior and I wasn't sure exactly what would come next. But what do ya know? I wrote almost 3900 words in less than two days, and there was still more to do.

To be honest I really hated the way things ended and I was waiting for something better to come along but seriously this is the way things happened. See, even I as the author don't always know what or how things are gonna happen.

Well...if you can't tell after reading this last chapter...I am bad at endings. Mostly the sappy, happy, happily-ever-after kind of endings. I suck at those.

Hope you were satisfied, because I won't write an epilogue or anything. (Unless I find I forgot to mention/clear up something, let's hope not.) Hm...

I got too wrapped up in writing this story the past three days so now I can work on something else!

Thanks for reading/reviewing/supporting/or whatever!

Hey, did anyone ever actually check my profile to see how I was doing with updates and writing? Or was I really just talking to myself?

8-3-10

12:31am

Alright, time to post.

Sorry I didn't make that Monday deadline but it's all good, right?

8-3-10

9:29pm


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